Robert Witham

Jack Morris has a long walk home. Jack is currently walking from Jacksonville, FL to Seattle, WA, a journey of 3,000 miles, to raise money for Seattle Children’s Hospital. The fundraising goal for Jack’s trip is to raise $100,000 by the time he completes the trip on September 10, 2010. He started walking on May 1, 2010.

This is an exciting project that I am following with great interest. Unfortunately, I only learned about Jack’s long walk home as he passed through the Billings, MT area this week and was interviewed in the local paper. I am now following the story via Jack’s blog, Facebook fan page, and Twitter. You just gotta love social media, folks!

To tell the truth, walking across the country has been on my “must do” list for several years. I considered bicycling cross-country but eventually rejected the plan in favor of walking. The desire to walk cross-country originated out of all my road trips back and forth from New York to Washington/northwest Montana. After driving just about every conceivable route back and forth I decided that I should see the country at a different pace. Thus was born the idea of walking across the country. I have several long-distance hiking trails on my list as well.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand… Jack is an entertaining writer and I heartily recommend reading his blog. I started on day one and proceeded through until I was caught up. I didn’t want to miss anything! Jack blogs about his trip on almost a daily basis. This makes it very entertaining to follow the journey. I am anxiously waiting for Jack to upload his blog about traveling through the Crow Reservation (where I lived and worked last year) and the Billings/Laurel area.

One additional reason that I am interested in this project is because my daughter was a patient at Seattle Children’s Hospital several years ago. That also has served to increase my connection. Terri and I plan to make a donation sometime between now and September 10. I have also promoted Jack’s long walk home on Facebook.

Anyone interested in learning more about Jack’s long walk home, and the Seattle Children’s Hospital fundraiser, can follow these links.

• My Long Walk Home blog
• My Long Walk Home Facebook fan page
• My Long Walk Home on Twitter

From the archives - This article was originally published on my old blog site and has been re-posted here.

The Death of Blogs

There has been quite a bit of buzz around the Internet lately about the death of blogs. This discussion is fueled in part by the recent departure of some high profile bloggers from the blogosphere. The irony of this discussion, of course, is that much of it is occurring on blogs.

Fallen! Fallen! Oh, how the mighty BLOG has fallen!

The arguments that blogs are dead usually center around several key points.

1. The growth of high-traffic, high-profile, multi-author blogs destroys any hope for the average individual blogger to be discovered and gain any meaningful audience.
2. Newer forms of social media, like Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Flickr make the need for personal blogs obsolete.
3. The never-ending comment spam, coupled with comments from obnoxious readers, simply require too much energy and time.

These observations are completely accurate based on my experience with blogs and the Internet.

The Trouble with Blogs

Comment spam and obnoxious people hiding behind the pseudo-anonymity of the Internet serve to deter many people from starting or continuing their blog. Even when the comments are not spam it is hopelessly frustrating to see an endless stream of comments that prove the person leaving the comment did not bother to actually read the article before firing off a comment.

The advent and rapidly growing popularity of multi-author blogs and high-traffic blog networks make it very difficult for the new blogger to gain any significant audience or to achieve reasonable search engine placement. Further, multi-author blogs are able to deliver quantity of content due to multiple authors and quality of content by having multiple authors with different specialties. The average solo blogger simply cannot compete against mega-blogs and sites like Wikipedia for search rankings and traffic.

Are Blogs Really Dead

The question must be asked though – are blogs really dead? Is there really no future on the Internet for blogs?

Nothing lasts forever – especially on the Internet! However, blogs have redefined how people communicate, obtain and interact with news, and even elect presidents (in the US). Blogs have become an integral part of the Internet landscape and it is certainly hard to imagine them going away any time soon. Blogs (to use the term loosely) have further become an entrenched part of the Internet as blog platforms like WordPress have increasingly seen double duty as both blog platform and CMS. WordPress is my blog platform of choice and my CMS of choice because of the power and flexibility of the program. So where does the blog end and the CMS site begin?

I suspect that part of the problem is that blogs were over-hyped as the ultimate solution to online publishing. This situation is reminiscent of the dot.com boom of a decade ago. The technology was (and is) destined to become a major player in the emerging Internet economy – but the hype needed to be tempered by reality.

Blogs Still Have a Pulse

Despite the challenges associated with blogging I believe the humble blog is not really dead. I suspect we will witness a continued evolution of blogs for some time as blogs continue to be integrated into the Web fabric. For instance, many CMS-powered websites now also have an integrated blog. Many social media sites also offer integrated blogs for their users. Blogs as we know them may eventually decrease in popularity as newer forms of the blog emerge but the blog is not likely to be buried any time soon.

Comment spam is a significant problem for bloggers. Anti-spam measures can help (Akismet, etc.) but are always an imperfect solution as spammers continue to develop new methods to beat the filters. Comments can also be disabled or restricted to registered users. Some social media fans will chafe at this suggestion but, for many sites, this is the best solution to the spam and unwanted comment problem.

Multi-author blogs do present a formidable challenge to new bloggers. Competing for search engine placement against established mega-blogs is a tough challenge. However, this does not mean that it is not possible to compete with established blogs and websites. The blog does level the playing field and provides a voice to anyone willing to invest the required work to make it happen. Blogging in the context of an established network (HubPages, Squidoo, and Associated Content are a few examples) provides a free and easy way to blog while taking advantage of the traffic of an established network. This can greatly increase a new blogger’s traffic and exposure. New bloggers can also compete by focusing on a niche, by writing in a unique voice, or by providing a perspective or information other similar blogs do not provide. Competing with a mega-blog is somewhat like a mom and pop store competing with WalMart. Many small operations will not succeed because they fail to differentiate themselves sufficiently to build a loyal customer base. Independent blogs, like independent stores, can always deliver unique value to their customers.

What’s Next After Blogs

What is next in the world of social media? What will replace the venerable personal blog? The transition appears to already be underway. Social media sites like Facebook, Flickr, Twitter, Delicious, and a host of others, offer a synthesis of photos, videos, blogs, status updates – in other words, lifestreaming. Blogs are optimized around text rather than multimedia and, while it is now possible to integrate a variety of multimedia into a personal blog, many people find the technical challenges too great. Social media sites facilitate the integration of multimedia into a personal web portal – usually at no cost to the user.

The most recent trend that I have seen in social media is toward convergent media. There are several social sites now providing convergent media services. I have recommended YUDU several times recently as a great example of a convergent media site. The idea of convergent media is that multiple types of media are all hosted in one online space, including text, pictures, audio files, video files, and web bookmarks. This appears to be the direction that personal blogging is headed. Lifestreaming is an obvious trend but is based on collecting various posts, videos, photos, etc., from a variety of sites to display them all in one place. Convergent media sites like YUDU, on the other hand, allow users to collect all of this together in one place to begin with rather than posting in different places and then needing to stream the various media together afterward.

Long Live the Blog

Blogs provide a unique communication and publishing medium that has revolutionized the way the world communicates, shares with friends and family, conducts business, obtains news and information, and even elects presidents. Blogs have become thoroughly integrated into the fabric of the Internet and, as the technology continues to evolve, promise to become even more integrated into the Web. The blog may look different as it evolves and newer forms of social media and convergent media emerge, but it is unlikely that the blog will disappear altogether in the near future.

Are blogs dead? Absolutely not! Are blogs changing as the technology matures and evolves? Absolutely! Blogs may look very different (and may even cease to be called blogs) as the technology matures and evolves and is integrated with newer media forms but, ultimately, blogs are here to stay. The growing popularity of sites like YUDU, Twitter, and Facebook prove that convergent and social media have earned their place on the Internet.

Link - WIRED

From the archives - This article was originally published in 2008 on my old site.

Experiencing Grief

Everyone has had a friend or loved one go through a time of grief. Sooner or later tragedy, pain and loss strike each person and as a result of this we all have witnessed a friend or loved one grieving some loss.

How we interact with others in grief can determine whether we bless or damage that person. The worst insults a grieving person receives are often from a well-meaning friend or loved one. Some of you know what I mean all too well.

Unfortunately, most of us feel poorly equipped to help someone who is grieving a loss. This article will provide some simple guidelines to help readers better understand the grief process and how to be a positive support and encouragement to your friend or loved one during grief. We will explore the nature and causes of grief, grief response and stages, supporting those in grief, and some helpful hints for being a positive support to those in grief.

What is Grief

Grief is the natural human response to loss.

The US National Mental Health Information Center defines grief this way:

“Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you.” [Link]

Causes of Grief

There are many specific events or circumstances that a person may grieve. However, they all have at their core a sense of loss. This loss may be real or imagined, tangible or intangible, but the grief reaction is the same. Death is perhaps the greatest and most significant cause of grief because the loss is felt to be so permanent and unalterable. However, a divorce, major illness or injury, loss of a job or business, separation from friends or loved ones, or similar situations that result in a feeling of loss may all trigger a grief response.

There are actually many situations and circumstances that could feel like a significant loss to a person. The reality is that what impacts me significantly may not impact you in the same way. This is true with many things because people have different priorities and values. You may find your loved one grieving a loss that does not seem that significant to you – but the loss may in fact be very real to them.

Stages of Grief / Grief Response

All human beings experience a grief response when faced with loss. Grief often feels like a mixture of numbness and sadness, particularly in the early stages of the grief process. Many people have attempted to develop a model of the grief process to help individuals in grief as well as those who seek to support them. Two grief models are considered in this article.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is credited with developing a helpful model outlining five stages of grief. Kubler-Ross published these five stages in her book, Death and Dying (1969). Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief are perhaps the most common and popular model of the grief process.

Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief, represented by the acronym DABDA, as:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Every person experiences the same five stages of grief outlined in Kubler-Ross’s model. While all five stages must be experienced as part of the healing process people may progress through these stages in different orders and at different rates. While denial is typically the first stage of the grief process, anger may or may not be the second stage that a person experiences. Similarly, just because denial is the first stage and a person has progressed into another stage does not mean that they will not revisit the denial stage.

The US National Mental Health Information Center outlines a four-step grieving process. They identify the four steps as:

1. Accept the loss
2. Work through and feel the physical and emotional pain of grief
3. Adjust to living in a world without the person or item lost
4. Move on with life

Each of these models provide a helpful framework to understand the grief process. However, it is important not to get hung up in predicting where a person should or should not be based on a particular model. These are models only and even trained counselors sometimes disagree about which model best represents the grief process or where an individual may be in the process.

The grief process will vary and look different for each individual. For instance, men and women may grieve the same loss differently. A person’s own personality and history with loss and grief will also impact their response to a loss. A person’s family background will often have a significant impact on how they grieve when faced with loss. I had one professor in college who used to say, “Styles are learned in families of origin.” There is a lot of truth to that statement. When everything falls apart we tend to default back to the responses we learned from our families – whether these responses worked or not.

Supporting Those who Grieve

Most people want to be helpful to a friend or family member who is suffering emotional pain and grieving. Unfortunately, many people do not know how to help or what to say (or not say) and, consequently, too many people say some very unhelpful or hurtful things. Worse yet, there is a prevailing opinion in our culture that a person in grief should be over their grief in a short time. Neither of these situations is helpful to the person in grief.

There are some things that should never be said to a person who is grieving a loss. Never. These statements (and a host of others statements like them) are simply never helpful. These type of statements are hurtful and damaging to the person you are supposed to be helping.

Never tell someone in grief:

• I know how you feel (you don’t know how they feel – everyone’s situation in unique)
• Everything will be okay (you don’t know that everything will be okay – you cannot see the future)
• It’s not a big deal (actually, it is a big deal to them if they are grieving this loss – it’s just not a big deal to you)
• All things work together for good (don’t even go there – unless you want to finish derailing their faith)
• You’ll be over this before you know it, and then you can find another… (another very unhelpful thing to say to someone in grief)

These type of statements are so damaging to a person in grief that it would be hard to overstate the impact. We do not know exactly how the person feels even if we have been through a similar loss. We do not know that everything will be okay for we do not know the future. The fact that this particular loss does not seem significant to us does not mean that the loss is not significant to someone else. We are well aware that God can bring roses out of ashes, but this cliche is not helpful to someone who has just suffered a significant loss. We realize that the person will probably move beyond their grief and find meaning in life again, but this process takes time and cannot be arrived at until the loss is first grieved.

Perhaps the classic Biblical example of friends running their mouths when they should have simply sat with a person in grief is found in the story of Job. Job lost nearly everything, including his health, wealth, and family, and sat grieving and mourning. Job’s friends came to visit and then proceeded to assault Job with cliches and opinions. The only problem is that, while their counsel may have sounded wise on the surface, they completely missed the point of what Job was experiencing. YHWH God eventually showed up and set the friends straight, reproving them because they had not spoken of him correctly. It is very easy to misrepresent God to someone during their time of grief and loss.

Somehow we have arrived at a cultural assumption that we need to say something to someone who is in grief. We seem to think that we need to say something to make the person feel better. Nothing could be further from the truth. Quite often the best thing that we can do for a loved one in grief is to simply sit with them for a while and let them know that we love them. They usually do not need to hear our brilliant wisdom and philosophy. What they need is for us to love them and be willing to feel their pain with them.

Grieving a loss is a process – and sometimes the process is very long indeed. Remember to give your friend or loved one time and space to grieve their loss. Be very careful about assuming that someone should “be over it” by now. Pressuring others to rush the grief process only serves to prevent much-needed healing. Depending on the person and the loss it may require months or even years for them to work through their grief and truly arrive at a place of healing.

Helpful Hints (Dos and Don’ts)

While each person and situation is unique and individual there are some general guidelines that are helpful in nearly every situation. There are also some things that are almost never helpful in any situation.

Helpful ideas to support a loved one in grief:

• Be willing to sit with the person without offering opinions or advice
• Tell the person “I am sorry” and “I love you” – and leave it at that
• Make offers of help specific rather than generic – people in grief often cannot process all that needs to be done
• Make visits short so as not to tire the person – people in grief need time alone to grieve
• Continue to make phone calls and send cards long after the initial event – people often feel forgotten in the months and years following a loss
• Mark your calendar with major anniversaries and holidays that will be difficult for the person – then send cards or call on those days
• Provide the person with the time and space that they need to grieve their loss

Things to avoid when supporting a loved one in grief:

• Avoid cliches and advice – they don’t need to hear it right now
• Don’t overstay your visit – they need time alone just like they need to see friends and family
• Never minimize their loss of their grief – the loss and grief process are very real to them
• Don’t rush the grief process – healing takes time

Conclusion

Ultimately, supporting a friend or loved one during their time of grief means being a true friend to the person. This requires putting aside our own comfort and agenda in favor of simply being there and sharing their pain. Supporting people in grief means loving them where they are at rather than where we wish they were and where we would be more comfortable if they were.

Your friend or loved one needs you during their time of grief. Don’t stay away because they are grieving. Just remember to give them space and time, and remember that they do not expect you to have all of the answers either. During times of loss and grief it is enough for them to know that you are there and that you care.

From the archives – This article was originally published on my old site in the fall of 2008. The article has remained popular so I re-posted it on this site. This is why the article talks about autumn in January…

Fall is in the air at Shekinah Farm in Upstate NY

Fall is in the air where I live. The days are still warm but the nights are cooling and leaves are beginning to change and drop from the trees. The winds of change are beginning to blow. I debated for many years as to my favorite season. Living in the northeast we experience four fully distinct seasons – each with enjoyable and not-so-enjoyable parts. I used to vacillate between autumn and spring as my two favorite seasons but I have finally decided that I like autumn best of all. Spring brings the promise of green and new life – but it also brings the promise of bugs and allergies… Ugh!

My waking thoughts this morning centered around a parallel between changing seasons in nature and in life. I’m not sure whether the Spirit was moving or if I ate too much of my homemade salsa sauce last night. (OK, we won’t go there. Some things are better left alone!) In any event, I awoke to thoughts of seasons and rhythms in life.

We westerners have a habit of largely ignoring things like seasons and rhythms. We are so accustomed to an industrialized, mechanized, always-on lifestyle that we don’t even notice when the winds of change are blowing around us.

I think we may also have a habit of ignoring the seasons of life. God gave Israel carefully crafted holidays, feasts, festivals, memorials and sabbaths to mark seasons. Not only did these rhythms of life mark seasons but they also served to remind God’s people not to forget their God in the busyness of life.

• How many of us have never gone Sunday to Sunday without a serious spiritual experience?
• How many of us have never gone days, or even weeks, without any serious prayer time with God?
• How many of us have never forgotten the Almighty in the busyness of our lives?

Seasons and rhythms are a God-given part of life. Let’s be careful to allow these things to mark our passage and point us back to our Creator God.

What are some practical ways we can use seasons and rhythms to remind us of God?

From the archives - This article was originally published several years ago on an old blog site. The article proved to be consistently popular so I re-posted here on the new site. Today also happens to be my birthday (I’m not admitting which one though…) and therefore seems like a good day to re-post the article.

Born in church

I was born in the choir loft as the old saying goes. My father is a pastor as is his father before him. I was in church on my first Sunday after being born and was dedicated and raised in church. Growing up I attended Sunday School, Sunday morning services, Sunday evening services, Wednesday evening services. As a teenager I also attended weekly youth group meetings. When there were special missions conferences, stewardship conferences or revival meetings I was there. I attended Christian schools for almost all of my education and attended mandatory chapel services every week. Several years after graduating from high school I enrolled in Bible college, eventually earning a BA in Theology.

I share part of my story to illustrate that I know what it means to “grow up Christian”. I know that there are many others who share my upbringing and know what it means to be “raised Christian”.

I’m OK, you’re OK

My concern, and the focus of this article, is that I seem to be encountering a growing number of people who believe that their spiritual state is satisfactory because they grew up in a religious environment. It seems there is a pervasive belief that if we grew up in church then we are “okay” with God somehow. How do we get to this point?

One of the great ironies of the way we do church (and Christianity) today is that we have managed to fill the pews with unbelievers who are quite convinced of their spirituality – based on the simple criteria that they grew up in church, prayed “the sinner’s prayer” somewhere along the way, and were subsequently baptized and joined the church. The fact that “the sinner’s prayer” is nowhere found in Scripture does not seem to cause any concern, nor does the fact that baptism and church membership are nowhere equated with salvation (consider the classic example of the thief on the cross next to Jesus).

The two-fold problem

I believe this is at least a two-fold problem. I will only give each consideration brief treatment here and will save the detailed comments for other articles. I believe the two problems lie in:

• a sketchy understanding of salvation, and
• a misguided concept of child rearing

Christian fallacy of child rearing

Too many Christian parents pin all their hopes of a child’s success in the world on a misunderstanding of Proverbs 22.6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. (WEB)” Parents have been taught to pull this little gem out from the context it was written in and use it as the ultimate insurance policy against teen or adult children making poor choices. That interpretation is a misuse of this text.

The Proverbs offer us an absolute wealth of wisdom we would all do well to pay more attention to. Sadly, most parents quoting that Proverb would be hard pressed to quote more than a handful of other Proverbs. Proverbs 22.6 has gained wide acceptance among parents because we like the misuse that has been applied to it. Frankly, many of the Proverbs would make any average American Christian more than a little uncomfortable. Solomon’s wisdom flies in the face of our modern American lifestyle.

The problem with interpreting Proverbs 22.6 as a guarantee against your child going astray or leaving the faith is that the writer was not offering an absolute guarantee. The Proverbs are not offered in that way. The Proverbs provide good, sound wisdom. Follow that wisdom and you will be blessed; ignore that wisdom at your own peril. The writer is not promising there will never be an exception to the rule.

Consider some of the other Proverbs and see what I mean. They are not intended to have a perfect predictive success; but in a general sense they are helpful and true. We learn about debt, sexual immorality, deception and many other things from the Proverbs and we learn where those vices will take us.

The Proverbs offer us a good guideline to child rearing – usually your children will follow in the path you raised them up in. However, this does not in any way eliminate individual choice! Children have minds of their own and they grow into adults with minds of their own.

A great example of this concept is found in an article published in the San Francisco Chronicle on September 17, 2006. Vicki Haddock wrote an interesting political piece from which the following is excerpted: 80% of “people with a party preference grow up to vote the way their parents voted.” She continues, “In fact, while many people experience a rejection of their parents’ politics in very early adulthood, virtually nothing is more predictive of your political ideology than that of your parents – it’s more of a determining factor than income, education or any other societal yardstick.” This is based on a study by secular sociologists who are not trying to prove the validity of the Bible; yet we find that the study does just that. Solomon told us thousands of years ago that children would tend to follow in their parents worldview and ideology, did he not? Or as one of my Bible college professors used to frequently say, “Styles are learned in families of origin.”

What I have seen happen too often is for parents to continue clinging to their misinterpreted Proverb long after it is evident their child does not have any type of genuine faith. Much of the modern church is still experiencing such a knee-jerk reaction to bad ‘lose your salvation’ theology that people who do question their salvation are reminded of the time they “prayed the prayer” and assured of their salvation.

We so quickly forget Paul’s admonition to “Test your own selves, whether you are in the faith. Test your own selves. Or don’t you know as to your own selves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified” (2 Corinthians 13.5). Paul writes this in the context of dealing with those who are within the church but living in sin. Paul advises that he will deal with them when he arrives in Corinth and then admonishes them to test themselves to see if they genuinely are Christians.

Would that more people were encouraged in a similar manner. I fear that Christians do more to interfere with the work of the Holy Spirit than the devil sometimes. There are occasions where a professing believer ought to have serious concerns about their salvation – concerns that may have been brought by the Holy Spirit!

Poor understanding of salvation

The second underlying problem with those who grow up in a Christian environment not having a real faith of their own is found in a poor understanding of salvation. If you doubt that statement just ask your favorite teacher or spiritual leader to explain the Gospel to you in one or two sentences. Take note of the keywords and key phrases that are used to describe the Gospel message and then search the Scriptures for them using your favorite Bible search tool.

More often than not the words we use to describe and explain salvation and the Gospel message are not Biblical words at all. In fact, most Christians would be hard pressed to explain the Gospel without using certain buzz words and concepts that are alien to the Scriptures. The bottom line is that the average churchgoer can only repeat back the keywords they have heard their pastor and church leaders use. Too many churchgoers have never bothered to study the Scriptures for themselves to determine the truth of what they are told.

This mindset of assuming you are one of God’s children based on your heritage is not new though. John the Baptizer ripped apart the religious elite of his day and told them not to trust their religous heritage. Jesus made similar statements. The Apostle Paul summed it all up so well in Romans that it must be considered here. Romans 2-3 exactly addresses this matter. In Romans 2.17-18 Paul writes “Indeed you bear the name of a Jew, and rest on the law, and glory in God, and know his will, and approve the things that are excellent….”

Modern Christians are so quick to discount much of the Scriptures as being interesting history of how someone else screwed up but we like to think that we would not do the same (seems like Jesus mentioned this too at one point). This text is actually highly relevant to our discussion. Paul notes how his readers bear the name of a Jew and rest on the law – in other words, they were resting on their heritage to assure their standing with God! Does that idea sound familiar? Paul spends the rest of chapter 2 tearing down everything his religious readers might have been relying on. Nothing in their heritage would justify them before God.

Paul then launches a question (recorded in chapter 3.1): “Then what advantage does the Jew have? Or what is the profit of circumcision?” Or if we paraphrase for a moment to make this applicable to the average reader today, “Then what advantage is there to growing up in a Christian home? Or what is the profit of a lifetime of religious education and culture?” Oh, but the answer is so sweet, “Much in every way! Because first of all, they were entrusted with the oracles of God.”

To the true believer, to the individual who makes a commitment to follow Jesus and forsake the world, we gain much advantage in every way due to our religious heritage! Glory be to God for all advantages I enjoy for having been raised in church by parents who followed God! But that advantage is only an advantage to me if I make a decision to follow Jesus myself. All of that religious upbringing is useless to me if I choose not to follow Jesus myself. It is all loss.

Praying a prayer or walking the walk

Too often we communicate the idea that a person can just “pray the sinner’s prayer”, continue to live as the pagans around them and be assured of their salvation. Those who grew up in Christian homes add to the equation some measure of security as they try to coast by on their parents faith.

The sad reality is that, just like the Jews Paul was writing to, those of us that grew up in Christian homes and in church can fake it very well. We know what to say and when to say it to convince those around us that we have it all together – but inside we may remain full of corruption. We can easily become like the people Jesus described as whitewashed tombs – we look good on the outside but inside are full of dead men’s bones.

From the archives - I originally published this post on my old blog site. To my surprise the post received high and sustained traffic. Who knew? I decided to republish the article here given its sustained popularity at my old site. Besides, I like Thoreau…

Resignation or Desperation

Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions? Do you ever look around you and wonder what keeps people going? Most people I know operate out of something we often call resignation (and no, I don’t mean quitting your job resignation either).

What do I mean by all of this? What is my proof that something is seriously wrong? Consider the following thoughts:

• Most people don’t like their jobs or their work
• Most people don’t like much of their lifestyle
• Most people generally feel as though they are missing something
• Most people can’t wait for their two weeks of vacation or eventual retirement

What’s up with that? Why are we willing to resign ourselves to a life we hate? We are given 70 or 80 years (if we are fortunate) – why squander it on a resigned existence? Why squander life going through the motions?

Dunkin’ Donuts used a great marketing slogan in the 1990s:

“Life’s too short to drink lousy coffee!”

I agree. Life is too short to drink lousy coffee. Life is also too short to live in resignation.

Thoreau had an interesting perspective on this thing we call resignation:

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.” (Thoreau, Economy)

I suspect Thoreau is probably right. Resignation is socially respectable, quiet desperation is less so. We deceive ourselves with our words. If we admitted that we were living lives of quiet desperation we would feel compelled to change our lives. We somehow make the situation more palatable when we falsely describe our quiet desperation as resignation. Resigning ourselves to a career or job we hate somehow seems respectable and mature. Following our heart, we are told, is immature and best left for children’s dreams.

One author offered this sage counsel:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

People who have come alive. Now there is an interesting thought. God made each of us unique. God made me to be me; that is a role that no one else can play. I give glory to God when I live out who he made me to be.

Resigning myself to what the world thinks I should do and be gives no glory to God – rather it gives glory to the god of this world, the ancient serpent, the one who keeps the whole world in a darkened fog. The enemy of our souls delights to keep us in darkness, he delights to keep us from being who God made us to be. Our adversary is the father of lies and of all who tell them. Of course he lies to us about our identity!

A life of quiet desperation is a life wasted. A life lived from the heart is a life that gives glory to the God who made us.

From the archives - This article was originally published on 10 August 2008. Despite the fact that the news story is now old the topic and issues remain important so I have re-posted the story.

I spent two very enjoyable years working as a newspaper reporter for The Eagle Newspaper. During that time I learned a few things about news reporting and writing headlines. Accurate reporting does not have to be boring; Attention-grabbing headlines do not have to be intentionally misleading.

I can honestly say that The Eagle, despite being a small-town weekly, worked hard to produce accurate and reliable news. Conversely, I used to be amazed at how I could attend the same event as major-market news reporters (TV or print) and end up with a completely different story. I would be amazed at the spin they would put on an article to suit whatever bias they felt compelled to apply. On more than one occasion I was not certain that I was reading or watching news about the same event that I covered!

As a child I can recall my father being slandered in the news during a controversial church vs. state legal battle in Concord, NH. (The church won, by the way, because my father was willing to risk arrest to stand for his convictions. I learned to stand strong for what I believe early on – a legacy I am proud to be able to claim!) I have also been sandbagged by a news reporter while managing a company in Binghamton, NY. The reporter misrepresented the focus of a Sunday Feature to obtain interviews with several companies in our market and then proceeded to slander us in the Sunday newspaper.

These experiences colored my opinion of news reporters before I ever entered the industry. My philosophy as a reporter was that the story was what the story was – nothing more and nothing less. I reported the story as the story actually was – for good or bad. I refused to spice up a story just to make a better article. I also did not gloss over uncomfortable components of stories either. As a result of my journalistic integrity I frequently received positive feedback and commendations from readers who appreciated my honesty and accuracy in reporting.

Prior to joining the staff at The Eagle I spent more than five years working as an EMT for a commercial ambulance service in Washington County, NY. This experience allowed me to see the inner workings of our regional emergency system.

All of these reflections bring me to the point of this article. I have been watching a local news situation develop and become scandalized here in Washington County, NY. Last Saturday morning, Francine Morgan made a 911 call on her mobile phone from her home in Wells, VT. According to news reports, the call was received by Washington County Public Safety at 0357. Wells, VT is a border town adjacent to Granville, NY. (This is one of those unique situations in this area where Granville, NY provides EMS coverage in Wells, VT.) Morgan was unable to provide her name or location at the time of her call. Washington County Public Safety was unable to determine an exact location for Morgan based off her mobile 911 call. Washington County Public Safety is apparently equipped to receive GPS information from mobile phones but did not have Vermont mapping software available and thus was unable to determine Morgan’s location.

Washington County Public Safety dispatchers attempted to call Morgan back and were able to learn her first name from her voicemail message. Dispatchers then contacted Verizon Wireless to obtain Morgan’s location. A Verizon representative advised the Public Safety office that they would need to send in a fax before Verizon would provide them with Morgan’s location. The dispatchers prepared a fax for Verizon only to discover that the fax line was busy and they were unable to transmit the fax! (Verizon representatives had since gone on record insisting that they would have waived this requirement in an emergency. Yeah, okay…) Washington County Public Safety personnel worked diligently for around 30 minutes to determine Morgan’s location. Upon obtaining this information the dispatchers contacted Vermont State Police and provided them with the information. Vermont State Police arrived on the scene at 0529 to find Morgan beaten and shot to death. Police have arrested Morgan’s teenaged son and charged him with her murder.

Where this story becomes more interesting to me, and the reason I am writing this article, is that the local daily newspaper (The Post Star) has turned this tragedy into something that it is not. The Post Star published an article on Friday, August 8, with the headline “Vermont Mother’s 911 Call Bungled: Washington County Unable to Respond Swiftly Over State Line.” The headline blatantly suggests, and the article continues to insinuate, that Washington County Public Safety somehow bungled this emergency call and is therefore responsible. The range of comments on the Post Star’s website are divided between those who have some understanding of the emergency system and those who are clueless and ignorant but still opinionated. The Post Star published a second article on Saturday, August 9, with the headline “Responders Upgrading Map System: Washington County Set to Use New Maps for Vermont 911 Calls.” This article also suggests that Washington County Public Safety is largely responsible for Morgan’s death by not having a Vermont State Police officer at her residence sooner. This is complete foolishness. This article completely ignores the fact that Verizon Wireless refused to cooperate in a timely manner and that the Vermont State Police took 62 minutes from dispatch to arrival on scene since they did not have an officer on patrol that night! One commenter on the Post Star website rightly notes that, even had an officer been on duty, the State Police cannot travel faster than a bullet!

The tragedy and scandal here is that a teenager murdered his own mother in their home. Period. This is a tragedy and symptomatic of many national social problems as well as evidence of some obvious problems that were already well underway in the Morgan household. This story did not start in the early hours of Saturday morning; this story started long ago for a young man did not just one day decide to murder his mother.

The Post Star’s coverage of this tragedy has, in my humble opinion (yeah, right!), been sensational and tabloid-style. The Post Star has ignored or minimized pertinent facts in favor of sensational reporting. Washington County Public Safety did an outstanding job in a difficult situation. Verizon Wireless has a broken system for providing emergency information to public safety agencies. However, even without that breakdown, Wells is a rural community in a rural area. Police, fire and medical responses are almost always slower in rural areas than in urban areas due to fewer responders (frequently volunteers) and larger coverage areas. Even if Washington County Public Safety had known exactly where Morgan was when she made her 911 call it is highly unlikely that she would have survived for another 62 minutes while waiting for a Vermont State Police officer to arrive at her residence.

Washington County Public Safety consistently does a good job with a limited budget and challenging geography and terrain. Saratoga County installed a new 911 system around the same time Washington County did; Saratoga County outspent Washington County by approximately 10 times and still has coverage problems with their radio system. Those who think Washington County should have more and better equipment (this would include the Post Star) might better address the issue with the County Supervisors who develop the County budget each year rather than faulting the dedicated men and women who staff the Public Safety Department.

To follow the Post Star’s faulty logic, a Washington County Public Safety dispatcher should have jumped in their car and driven to Wells to fix the situation at the Morgan residence. Sound preposterous? You bet, but that is the only way these dispatchers could have gotten help to Morgan faster. Vermont State Police still did not have an officer available at the time Morgan called for help. For the record, unlike on television, police officers are not always available when we want them to be available. Officers may be off duty (as in this case) or they may be tied up with another incident and not available to respond immediately.

The August 8 article in the Post Star relates part of an interview with Washington County Director of Public Safety Bill Cook:

“Cook, the public safety director, said dispatchers did an excellent job despite the trouble they faced.

‘We did our job very well,’ Cook said. ‘Our guys worked very hard to get this done given the technological roadblocks put in front of them.’”

Mr. Cook, I couldn’t agree more. Kudos to the men and women at Washington County Public Safety for your dedicated efforts. Shame on the Post Star for your consistent lack of journalistic and editorial integrity. This story is a tragedy, but one that originated, developed and concluded in Wells, VT and not in Fort Edward, NY.

For those who want to read/view more of the mainstream news reporting on this story I have compiled a few links.

• http://www.poststar.com/articles/2008/08/08/news/local/13802383.txt
• http://www.poststar.com/articles/2008/08/09/news/local/13805591.txt
• http://wnyt.com/article/stories/S536642.shtml?cat=300

From the archives - Here’s another one from the archives at the old site. This is particularly relevant though considering the current health care legislation hysteria debate.

Do-it-yourself health care is a growing trend, according to Cara Buckley, writing in the NY Times yesterday. Increasing numbers of uninsured, young adults are relying on Internet research from sites like WebMD to self-diagnose medical problems, borrowing or swapping prescription drugs from friends to treat ailments, and stockpiling needed medication and supplies whenever they are able. Skyrocketing medical insurance premiums put coverage well outside the reach of nearly everyone without employer-subsidized insurance (and a growing number of those with employer-subsidized insurance) while rapidly rising medical costs prevent many uninsured adults from seeking medical care.

My first reaction while reading this article was to empathize and relate to the situation. The only difference is that I am a decade older than most of the people profiled in the Times article.

I do not have medical insurance, have not had medical insurance for many years, and, even if I had an employer, probably would not be able to afford the premiums anyway. The last few jobs I have looked at would have required employee contributions equal to more half my salary if I wanted the medical insurance. As several people profiled in the Times piece noted, the choice often becomes purchasing medical insurance or paying the rent and buying food. Some choice. I’m sure the landlord would appreciate my “responsible” choice to buy medical insurance and not pay the rent.

I frequently self-diagnose medical problems. Fortunately I am fairly good at this game… Like a growing number of my fellow Americans, seeking medical care at a physician’s office is not an option for me since I cannot pay the medical bill. Consequently, I treat things myself and hope the problem goes away. Sometimes it works and sometimes I end up in a hospital emergency room since they cannot refuse treatment – only screw up my credit a little more when I can’t pay the $4,000 bill afterward. I don’t like this approach but I do not have an option at this point in my life.

My second reaction after reading this article was that we increasingly sound like a third world country here in the USA.  This is the wealthiest country in world history and significant parts of our population are routinely denied access to medical care because of an out-of-control and out-dated system of medical access.

Does anyone actually think this system works? People who end up in emergency departments without insurance do not receive “free” care. Rather, that care is subsidized by the federal and state government in the form of hospital grants and by higher rates for patients who do have medical insurance. Society pays the medical bills for the uninsured – whether directly or indirectly. Further, untreated medical problems frequently result in more serious medical problems that cost even more money to treat. Untreated medical problems also increase the likelihood of long-term disability – another problem for which all of society pays.

Every crisis seems to bring some good though. One positive result of this medical crisis is that people are slowly starting to take better care of themselves. Some people are eliminating fast food from their diets, eating healthier, and exercising more in an effort to stay healthier. This trend toward taking responsibility for our own health can only be viewed as a good thing no matter how disgraceful the catalyst behind the trend.

Link – NY Times: For Uninsured Young Adults, Do-It-Yourself Health Care

From the archives - This article was originally published in the summer of 2007 while very high gasoline prices were common. Prices may have come down from their record highs but gasoline costs still represent a hardship for many families. Despite the fact that this list is several years old the tips are no less valuable today than when the article was first published.

18 Tips for Spending Less at the Pump

Gasoline prices continue to hover near record highs with no relief in sight. Even the US government, always quick to encourage spending and waste, has begun advising consumers to conserve fuel. Most of us are beginning to seriously look at ways to save money on gasoline this year. Most Americans will find themselves spending well over $2,000 this year for gasoline with some spending much more ($3.00 per gallon/20 MPG/15,000 miles per year = $2,250)

Unfortunately, there is no easy solution to high gasoline costs. The best way to save on gasoline is with a comprehensive approach. By utilizing several techniques together it is possible to see significant savings over the course of the year.

1. Consider ways to not drive at all. This may sound too easy, but if you can walk, bicycle, carpool or take public transportation you can significantly lower your gasoline costs. Not only does this save gasoline but it also saves wear on your car. You may also consider finding a job closer to home or trying telecommuting.
2. Plan ahead when you need to go out. Coordinating trips between family members and making all of your stops on one trip can represent significant savings. Just eliminating two or three five-mile trips each week can save you $200 over the course of the year.
3. Fuel up with a credit card that offers rebate points. Some credit cards offer cash back incentives on gasoline purchases. Over the course of the year this can add up to several tanks of “free” gasoline. Unfortunately, some gas stations are beginning to charge extra for credit card purchases so that would eliminate the savings.
4. Don’t buy higher octane fuel than your car needs. Some cars require high octane gasoline but most do not. Running fuel higher in octane than is necessary just wastes money. It will not make your car run better and is unlikely to increase your gas mileage enough to justify the cost.
5. Avoid idling your engine. Letting the engine run for 30 seconds is enough to warm the engine up. Cars burn as much as one quart of gasoline every 15 minutes while idling. That is over $3.00 per hour to idle your engine!
6. Maintain your car to save money on gasoline. A poorly-maintained engine will use as much as 25% more fuel than a well-maintained engine. A clean air filter can increase your gas mileage as much as 10%. Upgrading from paper air filters to reusable air filters like those offered by K&N will save even more fuel.
7. Check your tire pressure regularly. Low tire pressure will decrease your gas mileage as well as shorten the life of your tires.
8. Consider purchasing fuel at membership stores in your area. Some stores offer members discounts of several cents per gallon.
9. Consider purchasing a diesel engine if you are planning to replace your car soon. Diesel engines usually get better mileage. Additionally, many areas have biodiesel available at a reduced cost.
10. Consider purchasing a hybrid when you replace your car. Hybrids boast impressive fuel economy and may qualify you for significant tax credits.
11. Consider purchasing a flexible fuel vehicle when you replace your current vehicle. Flexible fuel vehicles can operate on alternative fuels like E-85 (an 85% ethanol formulation). These alternative fuels are often far less expensive than gasoline. I have seen E-85 for one dollar per gallon less than gasoline at the same station!
12. Streamline your cargo. Remove excess baggage from the cargo area to lighten the vehicle. Also, remove ski and luggage racks when not in use. The extra wind resistance can significantly reduce your gas mileage.
13. Park in the first parking space you find. Driving around the parking lot trying to find a closer spot wastes fuel. Besides, most of us can use the exercise of walking a few more feet!
14. Use synthetic motor oil in your engine. Synthetic motor oil increases fuel economy by reducing friction in the engine. Check with your mechanic before using synthetic oil though as some older cars may leak with the lighter weight oil.
15. Maintain speed when you are driving. Cruise control can increase your fuel economy on the highway. Slowing down in traffic while trying to anticipate traffic patterns ahead can significantly increase your fuel economy in city driving. It takes far more fuel to bring a car back to speed from a stop than to accelerate from a slow speed.
16. Slow down. Driving 55 MPH increases your gas mileage 21% as compared to driving 65-70 MPH. Increasing your speed 5 MPH is equivalent to paying $.20 per gallon more for fuel.
17. Consider downsizing to a more efficient vehicle. Do you really need the SUV or full-size car? It may be far less expensive to rent a larger vehicle occasionally than to maintain and drive a vehicle that is larger than you need.
18. Relax and drive responsibly. Aggressive driving decreases your gas mileage by 33%! Not only does aggressive driving cost you a lot of money in gasoline, it also increases your likelihood of being ticketed or involved in a crash. Save yourself some money (and maybe your life) and drive responsibly. You will not get there any faster by tailgating the driver in front of you.

No single solution will make a large difference in your gasoline expenses. However, taken together, these 18 steps can save you a lot of money at the gasoline pump.