Robert’s Musings

E-mail subscriptions are now my preferred way of keeping up with sites that I enjoy following. I used feed readers for several years, and still do to some extent, but I have come to prefer e-mail updates from my favorite writers.

E-mail subscriptions typically offer daily digest updates whenever the site is updated. This is convenient – and nice as far as it goes – but is falls short, in my opinion.

Some sites, wisely I think, offer subscribers more. These sites may offer bonus content or special offers available only (or at least first) to subscribers.

Robert’s Musings

I have wanted to create an e-mail newsletter for my readers for some time. I also wanted to offer my newsletter readers more than just updates from the site, but was undecided on how to proceed. Finally, I have come up with a plan for the newsletter.

Robert’s Musings (the name for now at least) is my new newsletter. This is a low-volume, spam-free, e-mail newsletter. Robert’s Musings will be sent periodically (weekly to monthly), and will include new essays that have been posted to the site. Subscribers will also receive bonus material not posted on the site though, including essays, reviews, sample book chapters, and more.

Perhaps best of all, Robert’s Musings is free. Subscribe today and see if this isn’t the best free newsletter you have ever received. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Visit http://tinyletter.com/robertwitham to subscribe today.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

My experience after lumbar-sacral back surgery

Back surgery is one of those things no one wants to experience. Many doctors now even discourage patients from undergoing back surgery until every conceivable option has been exhausted. In my own case, I tried every option and was reduced to popping oral narcotics in order even to work because the pain was so extreme – yet still I postponed the inevitable. Until, that is, the disc that had been slowly herniating for several years finally ruptured in a spectacular way. The disc rupture necessitated an emergency hospitalization and surgical disc repair – a discectomy.

I wrote about my experience with lumbar-sacral herniated disc repair in September 2010. Honestly, I did not expect much interest in the article. At the time I was bored and home-bound while recovering from back surgery and, in an effort to entertain myself, decided to write about my experience. To my surprise, that article has remained one of the top articles on my website during the 17 months since I first published the essay. Apparently I am not the only one with an interest in this surgery.

It occurs to me each time I look at my site traffic statistics that I should update that first article about back surgery to reflect my experiences in the months since. During the months that have passed, I have experienced both improvements and setbacks. This essay can be considered part two in my ongoing adventure of recovering from a disc rupture and back surgery.

My early recovery progressed as expected and by late November I was cleared by the neurosurgeon for normal life after back surgery – permanent 20-pound lifting restrictions, and care with bending, twisting, or jumping. I was also forewarned that my first winter might be rough due to possible arthritis. It was rough. It was better than life before back surgery, but I still spent every cold, damp day awaiting a warm, dry day.

Late spring found me feeling good and able to move around without much thought for my back. Unfortunately, it was not to last. Summer brought numbness in my left leg again, along with increasing lower back pain. The numbness in my foot and leg worsened to the point where I suffered a severe ankle sprain walking across the lawn because I could not feel where I was walking. (Six weeks walking with a special boot that effectively made one leg longer than the other did nothing for my lower back problems!)

I finally made an appointment to see the neuro-surgeon again after the ankle sprain. An MRI and x-ray series identified the cause of my problem: scar tissue at the surgical site.

The symptoms has worsened to the point that I was reduced to walking with a cane by the time I saw the neurosurgeon. It was this or “furniture walking” where I leaned on furniture and counters to move about the house. I could not hold myself up because my back was so bad.

I spent two months debating with the neurosurgeon’s office about the treatment direction. The neurosurgeon refused to consider surgically removing the scar tissue, based on the assumption that it would just recur. (It might, but at my age I would try anything for a chance at normal functioning.) The doctor wanted me to have an S-1 nerve block performed to treat the symptoms. I declined. They wanted me to see a pain specialist for consideration of a dorsal column stimulator implant. I grudgingly consented, though I very nearly canceled the appointment several times. I did not feel the treatment options that my doctors were recommending were appropriate for me, and I did not feel that they were taking the time to listen.

I finally saw the pain control specialist in the fall of 2011. This doctor agreed with me that an S-1 block would be useless. Further, he felt that a dorsal column stimulator implant would be a bad choice for me as well. He did recommend considering another epidural injection at L4-L5 though – one level above the surgical site. I decided, in this case, I had little or nothing to lose. The first three epidural injections done before surgery had not been helpful, but this doctor suggested that it was a different situation after surgery and worth an attempt.

This epidural injection provided substantial pain relief within about 30 minutes of the injection. I was amazed as I had not expected any relief. I was even more impressed when, within 60 minutes of the injection, I was almost pain free. This was the best I had felt in months! (Too bad it cost $2,000 for the procedure.) I was suddenly able to walk without a cane.

The benefits of the epidural injection, sadly, did not last. I enjoyed substantial pain relief for a full week. Within two weeks I was pretty much back where I started. Now, several months later, it is like I never had the procedure. Of course, these procedures can be performed three times per year, but $6,000 per year for injections is a little rich for my blood. I also question the safety and efficacy of repeated epidural injections. Each injection carries the risk of infection, hemorrhage, and the puncture of things not intended to be punctured. If the injections provided three to six months of relief I would probably consider continuing with this treatment course. One or two weeks is not an acceptable result though, in my mind.

I still wonder whether a spinal surgeon could successfully remove enough scar tissue with a microscopic surgery to relieve the nerve compression. Unfortunately, I live in an area of the country that lacks many specialties – including a spinal center.

My only other treatment option is to consider a spinal cord stimulator unit, but I am quite skeptical that this would be a good option for me – as is the pain management  doctor.

Meanwhile, I wait and suffer – and rely on oral narcotics to manage intractable pain. Fortunately, I have a desk job these days, but I am now beginning to experience days where the pain is too bad to sit or concentrate. Damp and cold days are particularly difficult.

Am I glad that I went through with the surgery? Yes, I am. My condition was so bad at the time that I had no choice. I would never recommend this surgery to anyone as a first-line treatment option, but sometimes all other options are exhausted. In the end, an imperfect treatment is still better than no treatment, and I am glad to have had the disc repaired. I do wish the end result had been more successful. I’m really too young for this level of disability.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Grammie: In memory of a lady

Dearest Grammie,

Visiting with Grammie in May, 2011. This was the last time I saw my Grammie.

The last time we were able to visit was in May. You were at home, in your own bed, watching birds and flowers outside in your little garden. You told me of the newest flowers that your children had recently bought for your garden. I saw almost no one else on that 30-minute visit to Cambridge but, by God’s mercy, I did see you. Aunt Cheryl also had the wisdom, perhaps the foresight, to take a photograph of us together. That photograph is now my favorite. Several hours later, as I was on my way back to Montana, I received a phone call and learned that you had been readmitted to the nursing home. I will forever treasure the memory of our visit that spring day.

I have spent the past few days wondering what to write. You were one of my biggest fans as a writer. It was you who encouraged me to continue with my first novella, Treasure Mountain. You were also the first to read the manuscript when I finished, actually you were one of the few ever to read it, and you still managed to find something good to say about what was surely the worst fiction you ever read. You also scoured every newspaper that has published my work to be sure you missed not a word of my writing. How could I do other than to say goodbye for now in writing.

I have struggled to write this letter because no amount of words will do justice to what I wish to say. Your life was too excellent to reduce to several hundred words. Several thoughts do stand out to me though, so I offer them here.

You are one of the best people I have ever known. I don’t know that I have ever heard anyone say a bad word about you. You taught me by your example what it means to live as a good person.

You and Bumpa had a promising career in music and entertaining. I remain certain that you would have gone far and been wealthy and famous. You discovered a higher calling though, and you taught me by your example what it means to forsake all for the sake of conviction and living out what you believe.

You taught me what it means to live a life of influence through service. You have loved others, served others, and had a profound influence on more people than I could ever hope to influence.

You lived a life of integrity and character in a world where these are not common. You taught me what it means to live with character and integrity as defining values.

You taught me to laugh, and to be quick with a witty response. I enjoy making people laugh. You would have been proud of the one-liner I pulled at work on Friday.

Your life also was marked by grace and poise. In trying to define this it occurred to me that you are a lady. You lived your life with such class that I just cannot think of a better term. I have known many good women in my life, each of whom have different strengths and traits. None of them are as much of a lady as you are though. You will always be the standard in my mind when I think of a lady.

You also taught me to love God and the Scriptures. I love the Scripture that reminds us we do not grieve as those who do not have hope. I do grieve your passing terribly, but I also have hope. I also love the psalm which reminds us that precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of one of His saints. I may mourn that you are no longer with me on this earth, but God rejoices that you are now with Him – which is much better.

The power of a life lived well cannot be overstated, but it can be appreciated, emulated, and celebrated. Thank you, Grammie, for living well. I love you, and I look forward to the day when we meet again and you can take your firstborn grandson for a nature walk through heaven. Until that day, I will treasure the memories we share and continue to celebrate you for there is no one like you.

Note: I wrote and published this letter today for my grandmother, Clara “Bonnie” Collier Campbell Witham. My dear Grammie went home to be with the Lord on Tuesday, January 24, 2012. This is a brief, and grossly inadequate, letter in her memory.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment