My back problems, disc herniations at L4-L5 and L5-S1, have been steadily worsening for more than one year. I was referred for surgery about this time last year after all attempts at conservative treatment failed. Unfortunately, shortly after I was referred for back surgery last year my wife, Terri, experienced a significant complication with the cancer she has been battling. Terri’s condition quickly de-prioritized my own health care needs. Consequently, my back problems have been escalating in the time since.

Lumbar-sacral back pain, sciatic nerve pain, and numbness and weakness in my left foot and leg have been consistent experiences for the past year. One month ago the sciatic nerve pain worsened though. The new pain was chronic, 24/7 pain that simply never went away. My ability to walk was limited to very short distances. Prescription pain medications that had given me relief over the past year no longer had any effect on the pain.

My wife brought me to the hospital emergency department at Billings Clinic on August 26 because I became unable to walk or sit while waiting for her at a radiology appointment in the hospital. The emergency department physician administered IV morphine to get control of the pain and immediately sent me for a new MRI scan. The MRI showed a considerable worsening in the disc herniation at L5-S1. The disc was completely blown out. At least now I knew why my pain was so unbearable! The emergency department physician made me an appointment with a neurosurgeon for several days later and discharged me from the hospital.

My son brought me back to the same emergency department on August 27 because the pain was once again unbearable, and the pain medication that I had at home was completely ineffective in controlling the pain. I was carried to the vehicle by two of my children because I could not walk. I was treated at the emergency department by a different physician during my second visit. However, the treatment was essentially the same: morphine to control the pain and then discharged with instruction to follow up with neurosurgery.

The morning of Saturday, August 28 brought new levels of pain. I was no longer able to walk at all, and had become unable to urinate overnight. My wife called an ambulance to bring me back to the emergency department for the third time in as many days. I was treated by yet another physician during this emergency department visit. However, this doctor actually listened to what my wife and I were saying to her. The nurse promptly inserted a urinary catheter (this was the first time I experienced that procedure while awake…) and drained quite a bit of urine from my bladder that I had been unable to void on my own. I was also administered morphine to begin working on the pain. The emergency department physician contacted my neurosurgeon and made arrangements to have me admitted to the hospital immediately. I would now remain hospitalized until the disc surgery could be completed the following Tuesday.

On Tuesday, August 31, I underwent open surgery to remove the blown disc. The surgery was a 3.5-hour procedure – or so they tell me:) The surgery was successful and was completed without any complications.

My overall experience at Billings Clinic was positive. The medical staff at this hospital are truly a cut above. I rarely encounter a staff member at Billings Clinic who causes me concern. Billings Clinic enjoys Magnet recognition by the American Nurses Association. This designation requires an exceptionally high standard of excellence for a facility to achieve the award. The difference shows.

Despite my overwhelmingly positive experience during a rather tough time in my life, I did have several minor frustrations. Actually, at a lower performing medical facility I would probably expect these types of situations. Perhaps I have just been spoiled by how well things typically happen at Billings Clinic…

My first frustration was that the first two emergency department physicians seemed to miss my point. Both physicians provided appropriate short-term treatment: accurate diagnosis, pain management, and appropriate recommendation for followup care. However, I was at a point where I was not able to care for myself or manage my injury at home. My attempts to communicate this to the emergency department staff seemed to fail. I was only marginally ambulatory, was experiencing increasing difficulty with urination, and was experiencing unmanageable pain with the pain medication that I had available to me at home. Further, my wife is battling metastatic cancer and I am her caregiver. In other words, I do not have someone at home to take care of me if I am unable to care for myself. I believe, given these circumstances, I should have been admitted to the hospital during these emergency department visits because it was not reasonable for me to be discharged under the circumstances.

My second frustration relates to the IV dexamethasone which I was administered while inpatient at Billings Clinic. I am unable to tolerate oral dexamethasone, and I advised the physicians of this fact. Oral steroids cause me severe stomach pain that is worse than the back pain they are supposed to treat. Oral steroids also cause me to have unstoppable hiccups for days at a time. Last year I attempted to use a course of oral dexamethasone to treat the back problems and ended up hiccuping for several days until I was experiencing diaphragmatic spasms that interfered with breathing. The medical staff insisted that dexamethasone was essential for the surgery I was preparing to undergo, and the steroids were administered IV rather than orally. I hoped that this would be easier on my gastrointestinal tract. Unfortunately, it was not. The frustrating thing about this experience is that I had to fight to even get Maalox for my stomach. I know by experience with my primary physician that high dose Zantac is fairly effective in limiting the nasty side effects of the dexamethasone for me – and Zantac is ridiculously cheap. If they really needed to administer dexamethasone, the least they could have done would be to provide a few doses of Zantac each day to keep me comfortable!

The surgery apparently went without incident and exactly on schedule. Dr. Eric Schubert was the neurosurgeon who performed my disc surgery. I was amazed on awakening in my room to have absolutely no pain! I had not experienced a day without pain in the past year. My expectation before surgery was that I would probably awaken to terrible back pain from the surgery. Nothing could be further from the truth. I had no pain at all in my back or in my leg! Dr. Schubert took the time to explain everything to me in advance of the surgery, and he did an amazing job with the surgery itself. I would definitely recommend that anyone in the Billings, MT area and in need of a spinal surgeon consider Dr. Schubert.

My surgery took place seven days ago. I remained in the hospital overnight and was discharged on the day after surgery. I have been home recuperating in the days since. I continue to have relatively little pain despite having undergone a rather significant surgery. I do need to make judicious use of muscle relaxants and pain medication to stay comfortable but, unlike before the surgery, I am now able to effectively manage this at home.

I am still using a walker to get around the house. My back is still fairly weak and I am not able to stand up without the support of a walker. However, I can feel my strength improving. I am much stronger than I was several days ago. Hopefully within the next week I will be able to progress from using a walker to using a cane.

I am learning to be patient as I heal from this surgery. I prefer speedy recoveries, but this surgery will require time and patience. I will be unable to lift more than 5-10 pounds for at least three months, and I also need to be careful not to twist or bend lest I re-injure my back before it is fully healed. It is frustrating and humbling to need to ask for assistance with so many little projects. Fortunately, my wife and adult children are supportive and willing to help me as I recover.

Back injuries and back surgeries are complex. Each back patient’s journey is certainly unique and, therefore, I am aware that your experience may be quite different from my own. Nonetheless, I hope that this story of my own journey through worsening disc herniations and eventual surgical repair will be helpful and encouraging to many readers. I offer this story with the hope that through it I can lend some strength to another.

People ask me how I am doing with some frequency these days. Sometimes, of course, they are employing the unfortunate linguistic device we Americans have devised wherein we ask how someone is doing in greeting, though we do not particularly care. At other times, the person asking the question is genuinely concerned about how I am doing. Discerning whether a person is merely offering a friendly, albeit confusing, greeting or is actually inquiring as to how one is doing is not always an easy feat. I tend to err on the side of caution and restraint when in doubt. Of course, and this will not be news for those who know me, my nature is to never tell anyone how I am truly doing.

I have learned though, that if someone takes the time to seriously ask how I am doing, they probably care and want to know. This requires me to be real with people who express a desire to be real with me. This exchange requires risk for both people but, alas, this interaction is essential for a true, human relationship.

It is sometimes difficult to get in touch with one’s own feelings when dealing with significant circumstances, let alone to communicate those feelings to another on short notice. This essay then is one part identifying the feelings I experience as I care for a seriously ill spouse, and one part communicating those feelings – hopefully in a manner in which others can understand and identify with. I hope that my experiences and realizations will offer hope and encouragement to others who may walk a similar road.

Terri during a chemotherapy treatment

I can say succinctly that, after more than two years of caring for my wife while she battles metastatic cancer, I have come undone. Any illusion that normalcy would return to our lives has long been shattered, for things will never be as they once were. The ups and downs, the shocks and surprises – both serendipitous and horrific, the progress and the setbacks, are exhausting, deflating, and numbing. Easy hope and naive confidence give way to a realistic acceptance that borders on resignation. I am not in control of this universe, and no amount of delusional, wishful thinking or religious mumbo jumbo will make it so. Very possibly the only thing I am in control of is my response. I can respond to disaster, as did the patriarch Job, by maintaining my integrity – or not. This is my choice. But I still have come undone.

One realization that I have been forced to accept during this journey is that I cannot go it alone. This may be obvious for many people in a similar situation – but I am not one of those people. I tend to be introverted, introspective, self-reliant and self-sufficient. Truthfully, left to my own devices, I would go through this experience alone as well, devoid of any type of human support network. However, this situation is beyond me and I need others – at least once in a while. I have several people who are available for me, people who I can call or message at any time, and they will listen. The support of loving friends and kin is essential.

This journey has also proven to be a roller coaster ride of experiences – and I don’t particularly like roller coasters. An outside observer might assume that a person proceeds from a cancer diagnosis, through treatment, and then, hopefully, into recovery. The reality on this journey has been far more like that proverbial roller coaster ride. Ups and downs, twists and turns, and long, slow climbs with gut-wrenching descents that feel suspiciously like a free fall. I have watched as my wife seemed to be doing well only to experience a life-threatening setback, to begin recovering again, and to then face yet another life-threatening setback. The experience just feels like a roller coaster ride.

One of the more bizarre experiences of this journey has been to find myself, at times, mourning the living. This may sound odd, indeed it probably is odd, but it is true nonetheless. There have been times, as hope was fading because treatments were proving ineffective, when I have found myself mourning and grieving a loss that has not yet occurred – and, indeed, may not occur.

The changing and redefining of roles is an unsettling and challenging part of this journey. For instance, my wife always earned more money than I did due to a complicated set of circumstances. She has always worked more than one job for as long as I have known her, yet she is now unable to work at all because of her illness. My wife was always been the more nurturing one in our relationship, yet now I am thrust into the role of being a caregiver, household manager, and sometimes nurse. Shifting roles create an ongoing challenge that emerges as her condition changes.

Living with uncertainty has become our “normal” during this journey. Things that most couples might take for granted, like scheduling work, dinner, or a visit with friends, are now things that we find to be filled with uncertainty. With a major illness of this sort, we never know what a day will bring, what she will be able to eat (or not eat), and even whether we will be at home or in the hospital (there have been more unplanned trips to the hospital or doctor than can be counted). Uncertainty has become a defining characteristic of our lives.

I have found that this journey has increasingly left me frazzled. This may surprise those who know me since I usually try to act like I have everything under control. However, more than two years after being thrust unexpectedly into the role of caregiver for a sick spouse, I find that my capacity for pretending that all is fine to be increasingly limited. I am frazzled, stressed, and emotionally spent. None of this should be construed as a suggestion that I regret my role or responsibility to care for my wife. However, the experience does strain the emotions over time.

The tension between paranoia and prudence can be difficult to maintain during a journey such as ours. For instance, I twice hurried my wife into the emergency room for identical symptoms – pain in her neck and shoulder, and some shortness of breath. On one occasion there was nothing wrong – a false alarm. On the other occasion she was rapidly diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in her lung) – a life-threatening situation that required a several-day hospitalization. There are many other examples that I could cite. Sometimes it is difficult to know whether my concern is paranoid or prudent. Considering what she has been through over the past two years, I err on the side of overreaction when I have any doubt.

The tension between pessimism and realism can also be difficult to maintain during a journey such as ours. Denial is one of my pet peeves. I find no value in handling difficult situations with delusions. I prefer reality. However, my wife sometimes views my realism as pessimism – and sometimes she is probably correct. I have learned through my experiences as a caregiver that, important as it may be to remain realistic, it is also very easy to cross from being realistic into being pessimistic. Realism is always helpful, but pessimism is never helpful.

I have discovered, during the course of this journey, that relationships are today. It is easy to assume that one has plenty of time to say what needs to be said, to do what needs to be done, and to live what needs to be lived. We do not. None of us knows when disease or tragedy may strike. Spend time with those whom you love today. Relationships are today.

Caring for someone you love during a significant illness like cancer is both challenging and rewarding. Being unexpectedly thrust into the role of caregiver, particularly at a young age, certainly brings many changes – changes that can create tension and frustration. I hope that my own experiences and discoveries shared in this essay will be helpful and encouraging to those who are on a similar journey.

I recently finished reading The History of the Church by Eusebius. Eusebius was an early bishop in the church who lived from 260-339 A.D. This work is important to those interested in church history because Eusebius provides an early history of the Christian church from the time of the Apostles until the time of Constantine. Eusebius ended his history in 324 following Constantine’s defeat of the wicked and Godless Licinius.

I found The History of the Church to be enlightening, sometimes shocking, and often dry but never dull. Reading an unedited history of the church, written by one of her own, and penned so close in time to the vital first three centuries, has challenged my ecclesial understanding and more than a few historical assumptions. I have been forced to wonder why it is possible to attend Bible college as a pastoral major, to take all required church history classes, and to never read an early church history book written during the time of the early church. One might conclude that this omission is related to the probability that students exposed to an accurate early church history might question the ecclesial validity of what I have come to term the protestant experiment.

Regardless of how it is possible for so many modern Christians to be unaware of ecclesial history, a study of this matter has challenged some of my core assumptions. The more that I study church history, and by this I mean studying original sources rather than modern revisions/interpretations of church history, the more I am forced to question certain core assumptions that I have held. This quest is threatening in some ways; however, I value intellectual honesty and integrity too highly to ignore uncomfortable questions. I first began my study of early church writings several years ago as part of my quest to rediscover the pristine, pure, early church. At the time I was shocked to find that early church thinking and theology did not match what I had assumed the early church believed and practiced. This discovery was so profound and unsettling that it put me off for some months before I was willing to reenter this quest for the early church.

As I read Eusebius’s The History of the Church I could not help but make several observations. I have compiled my observations, in no particular order, for this essay. I do not expect every reader to appreciate these observations, nor do I intend for this to be a comprehensive review of early church history (a functional understanding of church history is assumed). My intention with this essay is to share what I have learned, how I have been challenged, and to suggest some areas where we may be missing the mark in the modern, protestant church. My hope is that some readers will be challenged in their ecclesiastic assumptions and will, in turn, explore church history more on their own. Furthermore, my own faith has been strengthened and encouraged by this study. I would, in my opinion, be remiss if I did not share the story with anyone who cares to read.

The Church was one

One glaring reality that any serious study of church history will reveal is that the Church was one. I realize, of course, that this will be laughably obvious to my Roman Catholic and Orthodox Christian brothers and sisters. However, to a cradle protestant, this observation can be a ground shaking realization.

Protestants, in my experience, prefer to think of early church structure as being a collection of independent or quasi-independent local churches with little or no central organizational control. This was certainly the model that I was exposed to while a pastoral student at a baptist Bible college. This is also the model that I have seen advanced in protestant church history books. I am not suggesting that this is the exclusive model of early church government being taught today – only that it is the model which I have encountered as a protestant. This idea essentially assumes that the Apostles started churches but did not retain any actual authority over the churches once leadership was assumed by local leaders. Certainly by the time the Apostles had died there remained no central church government with each local church instead being autonomous and independent. This idea of early church structure, or one substantially similar to it, is essential for justification of the protestant experiment.

One cannot read far into The History of the Church, or any of the works of the church fathers for that matter, before being confronted with the reality that the early church was one. Unity was not some mystical idea reserved for abstract theological discussions. Unity was real because the church was indeed one. The concept of independent, autonomous churches, or that of thousands of various denominations as we see today, is not supported by any early church writings. The idea is also not found in any of the ecumenical councils in the centuries to follow. The concept is not even found in the 11th century when the Great Schism occurred with the split of east and west. The reality is that one must look to very recent church history to even encounter the concept of independent, autonomous churches.

The reality that the early church was one struck me while reading The History of the Church. This was probably the first significant lesson that I encountered in this historical work.

Church government

Closely related to the first lesson from Eusebius, the church was one, is the issue of church government. Church government structure in many protestant churches, particularly in evangelical churches, much more closely resembles an American, democratic ideal than anything to be found in early church history. Nowhere in early church history do we find congregational ruled, autonomous, local churches. In other words, the way protestant churches are governed is a modern invention. I have encountered this in multiple early Christian writings. Reading The History of the Church one cannot help but be confronted with this reality.

Christians respected and prayed for those in government

Another surprise waiting in The History of the Church was the attitude of Christians toward those in authority. The contrast between the manner in which early Christians viewed government leaders and the manner in which modern, American Christians view government leaders could not be more stark. As an aside, early Christians were often under the governmental authority of Godless, demon-worshiping despots.

Eusebius describes repeatedly how Christians prayed for the rulers who were placed over them. This includes rulers who were actively persecuting, and in many cases were martyring, their fellow Christians. Eusebius further describes several occasions, including an occasion with Lisinius around 324 A.D., where Godless rulers were persecuting Christians and the ruler’s situation worsened immediately upon their expulsion of Christians from their household and cities. Eusebius credits the calamity that befell these rulers as being a result of the fact that the Christians, despite bitter persecution, had been faithfully praying for the despot. God, in Eusebius’s view, was withholding calamity from befalling the evil ruler because Christians were interceding to God on the ruler’s behalf.

I don’t need to describe the attitude that many Christians today hold toward government leaders in the U.S.A. The contrast cannot be overstated. Too many Christians sound just like their favorite talk radio host. There are several distinctions that, if anything, make our situation much easier and less desperate than that of our Christian brothers and sisters who lived during the first few centuries of church history.

We, as Americans, live in a democratic republic. This means, among other things, that we elect our leaders. The men and women who hold elected office in the U.S.A. hold their office because the American people elected them to that office. In other words, we cannot escape the fact that Barack Obama is our president because the American people chose Mr. Obama to be our president. We can agree or disagree on issues, but when we mock and slander Mr. Obama we also disgrace the office of president, our constitution, our political process, our way of life, our fellow Americans, and God Himself who has allowed Mr. Obama to be set above us as our national leader. Mr. Obama will answer to God alone for how well he carries out his duties as a servant of God – whether he understands this principle or not. People often have the leaders that they deserve. People always have the leaders that God has seen fit to set over them. We, as Americans, have the leaders who we have chosen to rule over us; therefore, we have exactly what we wanted and what we deserve. I would suggest that the church could effect far more political change in the U.S.A. if we put half the energy into loving the lost and bringing them into the Kingdom that we put into lobbying and complaining about our elected leaders. If a democratic republic has Godless or wicked leaders it is because the leader’s character is representative of a majority of the nation’s citizens.

We, as Americans, live in a society that enjoys religious freedom. Unlike the early Christians who often faced persecution and even martyrdom for their faith, and unlike many places in the world today where Christians still face persecution and even martyrdom for their faith, it costs us little or nothing to claim Christianity in the U.S.A. I would argue that if the early Christians, facing tortures that are nauseating to even read about and subsequent martyrdom, could conduct themselves with respect toward their Godless and wicked leaders, then American Christians can also conduct themselves with Godly respect and decency toward our democratically chosen leaders.

Regardless of the political situation that a person lives in, the calling is the same. We are called to respect and honor those who are placed in authority over us – because God has placed them in authority over us! We dishonor God when we dishonor our government leaders. This is not to say, in a free society such as the U.S.A., that we cannot disagree or debate issues – but we dare not be disrespectful or mocking in our discussion about issues. We mock God when we mock those whom he has set in authority over us.

Early Christians were able to address tyrannical, evil rulers who were brutally torturing them and their fellow believers with respect and dignity. A leader’s Godlessness or wickedness does not justify an evil or ill-spoken response from a Christian. The lack of respect is epidemic in American culture. Respect need not be lacking among the people of God! The witness of early Christians, as recorded by Eusebius, awed me and challenged me.

Christian churches and associations owned property and buildings

Many modern Christians will wonder why I raise this issue. Indeed, most churches do own property and buildings, and Christian associations abound in our world. However, there is a small movement within Christianity that rejects or minimizes church organization and leadership (discussed above), and also rejects the idea of the church owning buildings and other property. These ideas, particularly if one uses only the New Testament for proof texts, have some interesting arguments in their support. I find it interesting then that Eusebius talks of many occasions in the first 300 years of the church when churches and Christian associations owned property and buildings for worship. There is nothing odd about this situation really, and Eusebius talks about it without any attempt to defend the practice.

The limited structure/limited organization/no property or buildings argument can probably be justified using the New Testament. Considering the witness of the early church, the entire argument falls apart. The matter of fact discussion about church property in The History of the Church was another lesson that caught my attention.

Christians care for the sick, prisoners, the hungry, and the poor

Eusebius relates multiple accounts over three centuries where Christians cared for the sick, attended to prisoners, buried the dead, fed the hungry, and clothed the poor. In fact, this is portrayed throughout just a normal part of what Christians did for those who were in need in their communities. It should be considered normal for those who have been loved much, who have been forgiven much, and who have received much to be generous in their love and care for others.

I was not so much surprised that these things happened, but that they happened consistently as a normal part of Christian life. The government was not terribly concerned with the plight of the homeless, hungry, poor, sick, naked, and imprisoned – but the people of God were.

In fact, Christians were the ones who could be counted on in times of plague to risk their own health and life to tend to the sick and bury the dead. As an aside, there is a theology that is a key part of what has come to be called the “Left Behind theology” that states God will always deliver His people from the mess when he pours out His wrath. Aside from the obvious Biblical problems with that theology, in The History of the Church we see Christians caring for their Godless neighbors during plagues that the Church understood as being diving judgment on a people. These Christians experienced famine and disease right alongside their wicked neighbors. Sometimes Christians survived the ordeal, but sometimes they did not. Despite the fact that they had no assurance of deliverance, these Christians were the only ones providing care to the afflicted – at great risk to themselves.

The charity and social concern of Christians was so well known that Lisinius, wishing to persecute Christians but fearing reprisal from Constantine, implemented a law that made it illegal for any person to feed the hungry, furnish food or medical assistance to prisoners, or engage in other social concerns. Lisinius knew that the Christians were the only ones who were carrying out these missions of mercy, and he was quite certain that they would continue to do so despite his wicked decree. The fact that Lisinius could single out Christians for persecution based on their social work speaks volumes about the character of these fourth century Christians.

The accounts of Christian social action in The History of the Church are striking. Christians were willing to expose themselves to great harm in order to minister to the sick, hungry, and imprisoned. This has application for American Christians today, I believe. I frequently hear Christians complain about government social programs aimed to help the poor, feed the hungry, provide medical care for the sick, or assure that prisoners are not mistreated or abused. However, the number of Christians who are actively feeding the poor, clothing those without clothing, healing the sick, or assisting the prisoner are far fewer than those who complain about how the government does these things. There are, of course, Christians and Christian association that are passionate about exactly these things. Thank God for these. My point, though, is that the government eventually attempts to fill these needs, however imperfectly, because the need was not being met otherwise. Until we are filling the need ourselves, how dare we complain about how our government does things that God commanded us to be doing?

Separation of church and state was unknown

The History of the Church chronicles the advancement of the Church alongside and intertwined with the advancement of the Roman Empire for three centuries. Being a modern, American protestant indoctrinated in separation of church and state, I was occasionally uneasy with the interconnection between Empire and Church. Eusebius, on the other hand, simply viewed the Emperor as God’s servant in civil matters. It would seem to me, and I admit that I have not fully researched this – yet, that the early church did not have the same hangups about church and state separation that Americans have over the issue.

That observation being made, I am in no way advocating for a theocracy. There are some theocracies in the world today – and they are not known for their tolerance or human rights records. Israel had a theocracy (as designed by God) and they traded it for a monarchy. I am willing to wait for King Jesus to sit on David’s throne to have another theocracy.

There are, however, nations that have an official state religion in our world. Some of those nations have officially adopted Christianity, others have officially adopted another religion. I do not wish to debate the merits of state religions versus a situation such as we have here in the U.S.A. I am well aware of the dangers of state religions. For this essay I wish to simply make the observation that the early church did not seem to recognize a conflict or problem with a government sponsored religion – so long as it was Christianity. Actually, the early church seemed quite supportive of Christianity being the official religion of the Empire.

Persecution and opposition were frequent and expected

Perhaps the last significant lesson that I took away from The History of the Church was that persecutions came on the people of God regularly. Persecution and opposition were a regular part of the early church’s experience. Persecution seemed to be accepted as a normal part of living for God in a Godless world.

It should be noted that, throughout The History of the Church, Christians were excellent citizens. Christians obeyed the laws, paid their taxes, and ministered to those who were in need in the community. It would seem to make little sense for the government to persecute their most loyal and honest citizens. However, a lesson we could all use to be reminded of is found in the reason for their persecution. The early Christians recognized very well that they were citizens of a heavenly kingdom first and foremost. It was this loyalty to another King who was not Caesar that inflamed jealous and paranoid political leaders. I find it telling that many American Christians are quite offended when they encounter someone who will not pledge their allegiance to the U.S.A., or who will not hold the benefit and advancement of the U.S.A. ahead of the benefit and advancement of the Kingdom of God and His Son. In my experience, our loyalties as Americans are often confused with our loyalties as Christians. I wonder if we would not see more persecution, moderate though it may be, if American Christians started living as Christians first and Americans second.

Lots of little surprises

The History of the Early Church provided several significant lessons which I have shared here in this essay. However, these are certainly not the only things I learned while reading this excellent history. This book is full of surprises and fascinating bits of information that filled in quite a few gaps in my knowledge – gaps that sometimes I was not even aware existed.

I rarely recommend books without reservation, but The History of the Early Church is a book that every Christian should read and be conversant about. We, as Christians, are far too often uninformed or misinformed about our religious history. You owe it to yourself to read and understand The History of the Church.

Making sense of all the choices available when buying binoculars

Choosing the right binoculars can seem like an overwhelming task. Unless you are familiar with binoculars the strange terms can be confusing and may eventually lead to a frustrating experience. Choosing the right binoculars does not have to be a matter of luck. This article will help you select the right binoculars for your needs. The way you plan to use your new binoculars will dictate which binoculars you should purchase. Important quality considerations should include waterproof and shockproof ratings, magnification, objective lens diameter and lens quality.

Binoculars are simply two parallel scopes made up of an objective lens (closest to the object being viewed) and an ocular lens or eyepiece (closest to the viewer’s eye). Prisms are mounted between the lenses to compensate for the objective lens flipping the image over.

New models of binoculars often feature a roof prism rather than the Porro prism commonly found in older models of binoculars. Binoculars with roof prisms have a more streamlined look than traditional binoculars.

Binoculars are categorized by their magnification and objective lens size. For instance, binoculars may be referred to as 8×25 or 10×32. The first number refers to the magnification of the binoculars. The magnification indicates how many times larger the image will appear than if you were looking at it without binoculars. The greater the magnification the greater the detail, but it will also be harder to hold still for a clear image than with lower powered binoculars.

The second number refers to the diameter of the objective lens as measured in millimeters. The larger the objective lens the more light can enter the binoculars. Greater than 10x magnification usually requires a tripod to use effectively due to natural, slight hand shake. Magnification above 10x can also result in image distortion in very hot weather due to heat shimmer. The greater magnification can also decrease the depth of view causing the image to appear flat and shallow. Full-size binoculars (greater than 42mm) offer greater low-light viewing but are also heavier and larger. Compact binoculars (25mm) offer less low-light functionality but are smaller and lighter.

The field of view is the widest dimension seen through the binoculars. The greater the magnification the smaller the field of view. Binoculars with a wider field of view are helpful for watching active wildlife and sporting events where the subject is continually moving. The field of view is either listed as a number of feet at 1,000 yards or in degrees (one degree equals 52.5 feet per 1,000 yards). It is commonly thought that the objective lens determines the field of view; generally this is more due to optical design than objective lens size.

Lens quality is an important factor in how well binoculars perform. Glass lenses are heavier but provide better quality than the lighter plastic lenses. Plastic lenses that are of comparable quality to glass lenses are more expensive than the glass equivalent. The better the glass quality the better the image. High quality lenses may be described as Extra Low Dispersion (ED) or High Definition (HD). Lens coatings are applied to reduce light reflecting back off the lenses. Several coating options are available. If you are planning to use your binoculars in low-light conditions then better lenses will be a very important factor in choosing your binoculars.

The exit pupil refers to the amount of light sent to the eye. The exit pupil can be calculated by dividing the magnification power by the objective lens size. A larger exit pupil will let more light through to the eye resulting in a brighter image; however, lens quality and lens coatings are also a factor in determining how much light is actually sent through to the eye. Light transmission or transmittance is a term that refers to the percentage of available light that passes through the binoculars to the eye.

The eye relief refers to the distance from the eye to the lens before the field of view becomes limited. Eye relief may vary from 5mm to 23mm. This is a particularly important consideration for eyeglass wearers. Eyeglass wearers will find that to use binoculars with short eye relief they will need to remove their eyeglasses. Choosing binoculars with long eye relief will allow eyeglass wearers to use their binoculars with their eyeglasses on.

Adjustable eye cups allow the user to adjust how close the eyepiece of the binoculars is to their eye. Some eye cups are soft rubber and fold down while other are adjustable by turning the eye cup piece. Adjustable eye cups allow the user to position the binoculars comfortably and to block light entering from the side.

Binoculars have adjustable focus. The most common adjustment is a center focus adjustment which has a central focus mechanism to adjust both sides at once. Some binoculars have individual focus where each eyepiece may be focused individually. Some binoculars also have a diopter adjuster allowing one eyepiece to be adjusted to compensate for differences between eyes.

Many of the better binoculars are also waterproof. Waterproof binoculars not only keep water out when it is raining but are less likely to fog with climate changes (like getting out of an air-conditioned car on a hot day). One method used to waterproof binoculars is nitrogen purging. Nitrogen purged binoculars have the air inside the binoculars replaced with nitrogen to prevent moisture and moisture-related problems.

There are many considerations when choosing binoculars. Binoculars brightness and image quality is affected by several factors, including objective lens size, prism quality, lens quality and the quality of the lens coatings. A commonly accepted guideline is to buy the most expensive binoculars you can afford. Probably the best place to begin is to decide how you plan to use your new binoculars and then decide what is best for you. There is no single correct choice. The correct choice will vary depending on how you plan to use the binoculars and how much you can afford to spend.

How to Start a Web Design Business on a Shoestring Budget

Many people are considering doing freelance work or starting a small, home-based business due to the global economic recession. Unemployment figures are frightening and the job market is worse than many of us can remember. Web design is a great home-based business for anyone who is Internet savvy and detail oriented.

I have worked as a freelance web designer for more than a decade. During the past ten years I have learned a lot about what works well and what does not work well in the web design business. I have also watched the industry mature and change as it continues to evolve.

The Internet has been referred to as a “disruptive technology” because it has completely transformed so many aspects of modern life. The Internet has permeated nearly every aspect of society, from communication to banking, and from research to shopping. The Internet has changed our world to the extent that most people have a hard time remembering life before the Internet.

This amazing technology, coupled with the universal mainstream adoption of the technology, has created exciting new business opportunities for entrepreneurs. Many people now earn a respectable living working from the comfort of their home in jobs or businesses that were not even invented a few short years ago. The web design business is one of these new opportunities afforded by the popularity of the Internet.

As Internet usage continues to rise around the globe companies are constantly in need of web design services. Some large companies hire web designers and web programmers to maintain their websites. However, most smaller businesses (and a lot of larger business too) contract out their web design and web content needs to freelance web designers or web design businesses.

Web design businesses are also ideally suited to starting and operating on a limited budget. (This assumes, of course, that anyone interested in starting a web design business probably already owns a computer and has access to the Internet!) Web design businesses can be easily run from a spare room at home, a corner in the living room, or even from a local Internet cafe. In more than a decade as a web designer I have never had a client want to visit my “office.” Most communications are handled via e-mail or phone with an occasional visit to their office.

Web Design as a Business

The web design business could not have been imagined by most people just a few short years ago. I graduated from high school in 1988 and knew only one person besides my who owned a “home computer.” Computers were only beginning to be implemented in business and the World Wide Web would not yet be invented for another year.

The Internet is clearly the driving force behind the popularity of personal computers. E-mail, Internet chat, music and video downloads, instant access to reference material, and e-commerce all owe their very existence to the Internet. Without the Internet none of these popular services would be possible.

The web design industry has changed considerably over the ten years that I have been involved in the industry. In the 1990s most websites were simple, static sites with content that rarely changed. Most sites today are dynamic and powered by database applications. Modern sites may be updated daily or even many times each day. The type of sites customers need may be somewhat different now than in the past; however, businesses still need websites designed, set up, and maintained. The market may evolve and change but businesses will always need someone to take care of their website.

Legal Considerations

Starting any businesses involves many decisions, including some legal considerations like which business structure to use. A comprehensive discussion of the legal considerations for a web design business is beyond the scope of this article but many resources are available to provide more information about this topic (both online and in print).

Some early decisions you will need to make include:

• should you rent office space or work from your home
• which business structure should you use (sole proprietor, corporation, etc.)
• what type of record keeping system will you use for your business
• how will you prepare your tax filings
• does your state/local government require you to obtain a business license

I have always operated my web design business from a home office. Commercial rent and utilities are far too expensive for me to consider office space a viable option. I would not personally consider rented office space for my web design business unless I had employees or a customer base that expected to be able to come to my office frequently.

Business structure decisions may be limited by the state in which you live. For instance, the state that I currently live in offers no business structure other than sole proprietor to individuals. I would need to take on a partner in order to file any type of corporate business application. Which business structure you should choose for you web design business will depend on your circumstances and what options your home state provides. Contact the Secretary of State in your home state (or visit their website) for more information on business structures available in your home state.

Small business bookkeeping is actually not as scary as it may sound. Modern accounting programs like QuickBooks by Intuit make it fairly easy to keep accurate records and generate very useful business financial reports. Accurate financial records are key to business success. It is impossible to know if you are making money or losing money without good records and reports. Accurate business records will also help you (or your accountant) claim all business deductions you are entitled to when you file your tax returns. Your accountant will be able to help you configure your accounting software to best meet the needs of your web design business.

Two things in life are certain, as the saying goes, and they are death and taxes. Business tax returns can become quite complex and it almost always advisable to have an accountant prepare your returns. The general rule is that your accountant will probably save you far more than you pay in accounting and tax preparation fees. There are many deductions available to small business owners but the rules are often confusing. To make matters worse, many tax rules change from year to year. Accountants regularly take classes to stay on top of the complex tax regulations and are likely to save you money in the long run.

Business licenses are required by many cities and villages. This is something that seems to be less common in rural areas than in urban areas. Ideally your city or town clerk’s office should have this information on their website. However, many governments have been ludicrously slow to migrate information to the Web so you may have to call or visit to inquire about business licenses. Usually a business license simply requires filling out a short application and paying a filing fee (usually renewable annually). My experience has been that this is usually just one more tax and the application is more informational than anything. It is wise to pay the fee if your municipality requires a business license rather than risk being fined or penalized for not obtaining the license.

Marketing and Advertising

Every business needs to engage in marketing and advertising in order to attract customers. The simplest and most effective form of marketing and advertising is “word of mouth” referrals from satisfied customers. Unfortunately, this requires customers to work so new businesses will need to jumpstart their advertising in order to find customers.

Networking or social marketing is a powerful (and low-cost) method of marketing your business. Networking seeks to leverage existing relationships to find customers. The reality is that most people, including business owners and decision makers, would rather do business with someone they know than with someone they do not know. This is not to say that a business owner will not do business with a stranger, but they often prefer to do business with a friend or acquaintance. You can use this to your advantage by respectfully asking for people’s business (not by spamming them though).

Direct marketing to local businesses can also be an effective way of jumpstarting your web design business. Many businesses prefer to deal with local service providers rather than an unknown service provider in a distant city. Cold calling, or visiting target businesses “door to door” can be a great way to meet local business owners and find new customers. This approach does require the ability to handle rejection from prospective customers but can still pay off with new customers.

Obviously you will want to use the Internet in your business marketing. Make sure your business website is top notch and conveys a professional image to potential customers. Remember that you only have one chance to make that first impression! Your website should be search engine optimized for the markets you want to target. For instance, you may want to dedicate a page on your site to your location and any local businesses you work with already. This will improve your search engine ranking for web design services in your town or city. Similarly, you may want to create several pages dealing with any market niche you service. This will improve your search ranking for web design services in your market niche.

Printing is easy to forget about in the Internet age. However, you will at least want to have quality business cards printed. You will have many opportunities to hand out business cards to potential customers. Business cards should have your name, your company name (if you use one), enough information about your business to describe what services you offer, and your contact information (website address, e-mail address, and phone). You may also choose to have multi-part contract forms printed or other promotional literature like brochures or flyers.

Formal advertising options include advertising in your local newspaper, pay-per-click advertising, banner advertising, direct mail campaigns, and advertising in trade association publications. Which options are best will depend on the type of customers you are seeking to attract and your advertising budget. It is always a good idea to test marketing campaigns with some type of quantifiable data so that you can measure performance. Blind marketing campaigns can consume your entire advertising budget without producing any meaningful return on your investment.

Hosting Providers and Domain Registrars

Domain registrations and web hosting are two closely related income streams that should not be ignored. Some business customers may already have a domain name registered and hosting set up. These customers may only want you to provide design or content. However, many businesses, particularly those without an existing web presence, may want you to handle the domain name registration and hosting as well. Domain name are typically renewed annually and hosting is typically renewed monthly (though either can be renewed for longer periods). The actual income from either source is small by itself but quickly adds up with multiple accounts. Domain registrations also provide residual income each month that requires little or no work on your part.

Some hosting providers offer reseller accounts that will allow you to easily set up customer hosting accounts and even integrate billing. This is quite convenient since billing for hosting can get complicated once you start amassing more than a few hosting accounts.

There are many excellent hosting providers to choose from and more than a few not-so-good hosting providers. Carefully check out any hosting provider in advance and research what their customers are already saying about them. Cheap is not necessarily a good thing when it comes to web hosting. Remember, your customer will not be calling the hosting provider when their site is down – they will be calling you. Save yourself these headaches and choose an affordable, quality hosting provider.

Web Design Business Software

Starting a web design business will require some computer software. The software you use will depend on several factors though, including budget, personal preferences, and the type and level of services you intend to offer. You will need a text editor, graphic software, and an office suite at a minimum. The good news is that these programs are all available for free by using open source software! Many web designers also like to use a visual XHTML editor. These are much harder to find in non-commercial versions.

Text editors are arguably the most versatile piece of software you will install on your computer. In fact, probably the only software I use as much as a text editor is a web browser. Microsoft’s Notepad is fairly anemic and few programmers hold a favorable opinion of the application. I currently use the Scite SC1 editor freely available from Scintilla. I have also used Notepad++ in the past. Any decent text editor will work but most modern versions now include syntax highlighting (very useful for hand coding or editing), line numbering, word count, and other handy features.

Text editors are essential for any type of scripting (PHP, JavaScript, etc.). Many web designers, me included, still prefer to design and edit sites in a text editor rather than risking problems with a visual HTML editor altering code. Even if you like to use a visual editor to develop sites it is sometimes convenient to use a text editor when you just need to check something quickly.

Visual HTML editors have advanced considerably over the past decade and most web designers now use some type of visual editor to speed site development. Many options are available when choosing a visual HTML editor.

Popular visual HTML editors include Microsoft Visual Web Developer, CoffeeCup HTML Editor, and Adobe Dreamweaver. These applications are all commercially available in varying packages with varying costs. Microsoft Web Developer and CoffeeCup HTML Editor both do offer a limited-feature free version. KompoZer is an interesting (and free) project currently under development. KompoZer is a continuation of the abandoned Nvu project.

Each visual HTML editor has its’ own set of features, advantages and complications. Which editor is best (or if any of them are best) will be determined by your preferences, budget, and the type of development you are doing.

Graphic design software is most frequently used for photo and image editing. However, decent graphic design software is also essential for making banners, logos, and site graphics. Graphic design software can be quite costly depending on which program you purchase.

Popular graphics programs include Adobe Photoshop, Corel Paint Shop Pro, and Gimp. Adobe Photoshop is the industry standard but carries a price tag that might well be more than your monthly rent payment. Corel Paint Shop Pro (formerly Jasc Paint Shop Pro) is a great program with a much more affordable price. Gimp is a powerful, open source program that is available for free. Gimp will likely take care of everything you need to do unless you are a real graphic designer (in which case you probably already have Photoshop).

An office suite of software is essential for routine business tasks, like proposals, invoicing, presentations, and basic bookkeeping with spreadsheets. Regardless of how high-tech the web design business may be there are still occasions when you will need to type a letter, prepare a presentation or use a spreadsheet. Customers are also likely to send you documents periodically.

Some popular office suites include Microsoft Office, OpenOffice.org, and Corel WordPerfect. Microsoft Office is, of course, the industry standard. Office and WordPerfect both carry outrageously high price tags though. OpenOffice.org is the up and coming office suite of choice for many people. OpenOffice.org does everything you would expect an office suite to do – but without the price. OpenOffice.org is freely available and will import and export Microsoft Office documents.

The Importance of Standards Compliance

Standards compliance is something of a buzz word these days but is something that every web designer should be striving to achieve and maintain. Developing websites that comply with current, International standards is best practice and should always be the goal. Sites that are standards compliant should work satisfactorily in every modern web browser – whether desktop, laptop, or handheld.

Many web designers have a bad attitude about web standards. They seem to think that standards are implemented to hold them back or to make their job difficult. Nothing could be further from the truth! Web standards allow web designers to design one site that works in all browsers rather than designing multiple copies of each site to accommodate several different browsers. As the Internet continues to grow and more mobile devices are used to access the Internet it becomes even more important to design to industry standards. It is simply impossible to predict what devices will be used to access a website. Standards-compliant sites are the only way to guarantee that everyone can access a site.

The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) is an international consortium that develops internationally-accepted, open-source standards for the Internet. W3C’s stated mission is “to lead the World Wide Web to its full potential by developing protocols and guidelines that ensure long-term growth for the Web.” These may seem like loft goals, yet they are absolutely essential. Anyone who has been developing websites for any length of time remembers all too well the nightmare of browsers without standards compliance. (For that matter, anyone that attempts to develop sites that work the same in Microsoft’s Internet Explorer as in every other browser still knows why standards are important!)

Expanding Your Web Design Business With Freelancers

Sooner or later you will be faced with a project that is beyond the scope of your abilities and skills. This leaves you with the option of turning down the project (and the revenue) or finding a freelancer to complete the portion of the project you cannot handle. Subcontracting out parts of a project to freelancers has become increasingly common as websites have become more complicated.

Working with a freelancer (or several) allows you to expand your business and offer more services to your customers. However, this also complicates your business because you are now relying on other people to complete critical projects. Remember to build extra time into each project if you plan to subcontract out part of the work. This will provide you with a time buffer if you run into problems with the work.

It is also a good idea to have a customer sign off on the project scope before you contract with a freelancer. Only after you are clear on what the customer needs should you ask a freelancer to bid on the project.

Deciding to hire a freelancer is one thing. Finding the right freelancer is something else altogether! How do you go about finding a freelancer for your web design project?

Fortunately, there are companies that specialize in connecting freelancers with people who need help with a project. Elance, Guru, and RentACoder all help to match up freelancers with available projects. The competitive nature of the bidding at these sites usually means the employer is able to have the work done at a good price. (Some people criticize these sites because the prices may tend to be too low because of the competition.)

Another option for finding freelancers is through a local university of technical college. Any school with an IT program is likely to have plenty of skilled students who could use some extra work. It may be best to work through the administration and ask for recommendations to be sure that your prospective freelancer has adequate skills and training.

Finally, you can always advertise on Craiglist, Monster, Dice or in your local help wanted directory for a freelance programmer or designer. You should probably have a basic freelance agreement ready if you plan to contract with someone directly. A standard freelance agreement will usually include a non-disclosure clause, payment terms, and will also specify whether the freelancer is an employee or an independent contractor. Presumably you will be looking for an independent contractor if the work is only periodic and per diem. An Internet search should turn up plenty of standard agreement templates you can adapt to your own needs. (You can, of course, have your attorney handle this for you – for a fee.)

It is also a good idea to review the IRS definition of an independent contractor versus an employee. Classifying a freelancer as an independent contractor is perfectly legal, but the IRS prefers that everyone is treated as an employee and thus subject to income tax withholding. Make sure you understand the distinction before you hire a freelancer. This is not an issue, of course, when using freelance sites.

Conclusion

Starting a web design business is an exciting venture. Best of all, web design businesses are well suited to starting as a shoestring business. While some things may be easier if you do have some cash to invest in the business, it is quite possible to start your web design business with no investment provided you already have a computer and Internet access.

Starting any business requires a lot of hard work. Web design is no exception. However, if you enjoy computers and the Internet, web design can also be a fun business. This business also allows you to earn residual income from every hosting customer as hosting and domain name registrations continue to bring in revenue long after the original sale.

There are plenty of decisions to make as you consider launching your web design business. The good news is that in many cases you can start simple or cheap and upgrade software or services as you earn some money. Expensive software licensing fees can be avoided because all of the software you need for your web design business is freely available as open source software; expensive business fees can be avoided by operating as a sole proprietor rather than incorporating. You can always change to more expensive options at a later date if it seems more beneficial to your business.

The future for the web design industry looks strong. The Internet continues to grow at a rapid pace and new technologies like mobile Internet are only beginning to see mainstream adoption. Many businesses still have not caught on to the usefulness and importance of a web presence. These businesses will require web design services in the foreseeable future if they hope to remain competitive in a global economy. The rapidly changing nature of the Internet also guarantees that businesses that already have a web presence will need their sites updated and overhauled. This trend also assures web design companies of residual work for many years to come.

This book was designed to provide you with a solid overview of the web design industry. We have discussed the highlights of starting a web design business without becoming too burdened with small details. We have also looked at ways to start a web design business on a shoestring budget. This business model does not require thousands of dollars in capital to be successful. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and get started with your shoestring web design business!

This article is a condensed version of my book, Starting a Web Design Business. Starting a Web Design Business is available in paperback from Amazon or as an e-book.

How to Start a Web Design Business on a Shoestring Budget

Many people are considering doing freelance work or starting a small, home-based business due to the global economic recession. Unemployment figures are frightening and the job market is worse than many of us can

remember. Web design is a great home-based business for anyone who is Internet savvy and detail oriented.

I have worked as a freelance web designer for more than a decade. During the past ten years I have learned a lot about what works well and what does not work well in the web design business. I have also watched the industry mature and change as it continues to evolve. I actually wrote an entire e-book about starting a web design business recently and decided to offer some of the highlights here on Associated Content free of charge!

The Internet has been referred to as a “disruptive technology” because it has completely transformed so many aspects of modern life. The Internet has permeated nearly every aspect of society, from communication to banking, and from research to shopping. The Internet has changed our world to the extent that most people have a hard time remembering life before the Internet.

This amazing technology, coupled with the universal mainstream adoption of the technology, has created exciting new business opportunities for entrepreneurs. Many people now earn a respectable living working from the comfort of their home in jobs or businesses that were not even invented a few short years ago. The web design business is one of these new opportunities afforded by the popularity of the Internet.

As Internet usage continues to rise around the globe companies are constantly in need of web design services. Some large companies hire web designers and web programmers to maintain their websites. However, most smaller businesses (and a lot of larger business too) contract out their web design and web content needs to freelance web designers or web design businesses.

Web design businesses are also ideally suited to starting and operating on a limited budget. (This assumes, of course, that anyone interested in starting a web design business probably already owns a computer and has access to the Internet!) Web design businesses can be easily run from a spare room at home, a corner in the living room, or even from a local Internet cafe. In more than a decade as a web designer I have never had a client want to visit my “office.” Most communications are handled via e-mail or phone with an occasional visit to their office.

Web Design as a Business
The web design business could not have been imagined by most people just a few short years ago. I graduated from high school in 1988 and knew only one person besides my who owned a “home computer.” Computers were only beginning to be implemented in business and the World Wide Web would not yet be invented for another year.

The Internet is clearly the driving force behind the popularity of personal computers. E-mail, Internet chat, music and video downloads, instant access to reference material, and e-commerce all owe their very existence to the Internet. Without the Internet none of these popular services would be possible.

The web design industry has changed considerably over the ten years that I have been involved in the industry. In the 1990s most websites were simple, static sites with content that rarely changed. Most sites today are dynamic and powered by database applications. Modern sites may be updated daily or even many times each day. The type of sites customers need may be somewhat different now than in the past; however, businesses still need websites designed, set up, and maintained. The market may evolve and change but businesses will always need someone to take care of their website.

Legal Considerations
Starting any businesses involves many decisions, including some legal considerations like which business structure to use. A comprehensive discussion of the legal considerations for a web design business is beyond the scope of this article but many resources are available to provide more information about this topic (both online and in print).

Some early decisions you will need to make include:

• should you rent office space or work from your home
• which business structure should you use (sole proprietor, corporation, etc.)
• what type of record keeping system will you use for your business
• how will you prepare your tax filings
• does your state/local government require you to obtain a business license

I have always operated my web design business from a home office. Commercial rent and utilities are far too expensive for me to consider office space a viable option. I would not personally consider rented office space for my web design business unless I had employees or a customer base that expected to be able to come to my office frequently.

Business structure decisions may be limited by the state in which you live. For instance, the state that I currently live in offers no business structure other than sole proprietor to individuals. I would need to take on a partner in order to file any type of corporate business application. Which business structure you should choose for you web design business will depend on your circumstances and what options your home state provides. Contact the Secretary of State in your home state (or visit their website) for more information on business structures available in your home state.

Small business bookkeeping is actually not as scary as it may sound. Modern accounting programs like QuickBooks by Intuit make it fairly easy to keep accurate records and generate very useful business financial reports. Accurate financial records are key to business success. It is impossible to know if you are making money or losing money without good records and reports. Accurate business records will also help you (or your accountant) claim all business deductions you are entitled to when you file your tax returns. Your accountant will be able to help you configure your accounting software to best meet the needs of your web design business.

Two things in life are certain, as the saying goes, and they are death and taxes. Business tax returns can become quite complex and it almost always advisable to have an accountant prepare your returns. The general rule is that your accountant will probably save you far more than you pay in accounting and tax preparation fees. There are many deductions available to small business owners but the rules are often confusing. To make matters worse, many tax rules change from year to year. Accountants regularly take classes to stay on top of the complex tax regulations and are likely to save you money in the long run.

Business licenses are required by many cities and villages. This is something that seems to be less common in rural areas than in urban areas. Ideally your city or town clerk’s office should have this information on their website. However, many governments have been ludicrously slow to migrate information to the Web so you may have to call or visit to inquire about business licenses. Usually a business license simply requires filling out a short application and paying a filing fee (usually renewable annually). My experience has been that this is usually just one more tax and the application is more informational than anything. It is wise to pay the fee if your municipality requires a business license rather than risk being fined or penalized for not obtaining the license.

Marketing and Advertising
Every business needs to engage in marketing and advertising in order to attract customers. The simplest and most effective form of marketing and advertising is “word of mouth” referrals from satisfied customers. Unfortunately, this requires customers to work so new businesses will need to jumpstart their advertising in order to find customers.

Networking or social marketing is a powerful (and low-cost) method of marketing your business. Networking seeks to leverage existing relationships to find customers. The reality is that most people, including business owners and decision makers, would rather do business with someone they know than with someone they do not know. This is not to say that a business owner will not do business with a stranger, but they often prefer to do business with a friend or acquaintance. You can use this to your advantage by respectfully asking for people’s business (not by spamming them though).

Direct marketing to local businesses can also be an effective way of jumpstarting your web design business. Many businesses prefer to deal with local service providers rather than an unknown service provider in a distant city. Cold calling, or visiting target businesses “door to door” can be a great way to meet local business owners and find new customers. This approach does require the ability to handle rejection from prospective customers but can still pay off with new customers.

Obviously you will want to use the Internet in your business marketing. Make sure your business website is top notch and conveys a professional image to potential customers. Remember that you only have one chance to make that first impression! Your website should be search engine optimized for the markets you want to target. For instance, you may want to dedicate a page on your site to your location and any local businesses you work with already. This will improve your search engine ranking for web design services in your town or city. Similarly, you may want to create several pages dealing with any market niche you service. This will improve your search ranking for web design services in your market niche.

Printing is easy to forget about in the Internet age. However, you will at least want to have quality business cards printed. You will have many opportunities to hand out business cards to potential customers. Business cards should have your name, your company name (if you use one), enough information about your business to describe what services you offer, and your contact information (website address, e-mail address, and phone). You may also choose to have multi-part contract forms printed or other promotional literature like brochures or flyers.

Formal advertising options include advertising in your local newspaper, pay-per-click advertising, banner advertising, direct mail campaigns, and advertising in trade association publications. Which options are best will depend on the type of customers you are seeking to attract and your advertising budget. It is always a good idea to test marketing campaigns with some type of quantifiable data so that you can measure performance. Blind marketing campaigns can consume your entire advertising budget without producing any meaningful return on your investment.

Hosting Providers and Domain Registrars
Domain registrations and web hosting are two closely related income streams that should not be ignored. Some business customers may already have a domain name registered and hosting set up. These customers may only want you to provide design or content. However, many businesses, particularly those without an existing web presence, may want you to handle the domain name registration and hosting as well. Domain name are typically renewed annually and hosting is typically renewed monthly (though either can be renewed for longer periods). The actual income from either source is small by itself but quickly adds up with multiple accounts. Domain registrations also provide residual income each month that requires little or no work on your part.

Some hosting providers offer reseller accounts that will allow you to easily set up customer hosting accounts and even integrate billing. This is quite convenient since billing for hosting can get complicated once you start amassing more than a few hosting accounts.

There are many excellent hosting providers to choose from and more than a few not-so-good hosting providers. Carefully check out any hosting provider in advance and research what their customers are already saying about them. Cheap is not necessarily a good thing when it comes to web hosting. Remember, your customer will not be calling the hosting provider when their site is down – they will be calling you. Save yourself these headaches and choose an affordable, quality hosting provider.

Web Design Business Software
Starting a web design business will require some computer software. The software you use will depend on several factors though, including budget, personal preferences, and the type and level of services you intend to offer. You will need a text editor, graphic software, and an office suite at a minimum. The good news is that these programs are all available for free by using open source software! Many web designers also like to use a visual XHTML editor. These are much harder to find in non-commercial versions.

Text editors are arguably the most versatile piece of software you will install on your computer. In fact, probably the only software I use as much as a text editor is a web browser. Microsoft’s Notepad is fairly anemic and few programmers hold a favorable opinion of the application. I currently use the Scite SC1 editor freely available from Scintilla. I have also used Notepad++ in the past. Any decent text editor will work but most modern versions now include syntax highlighting (very useful for hand coding or editing), line numbering, word count, and other handy features.

Text editors are essential for any type of scripting (PHP, JavaScript, etc.). Many web designers, me included, still prefer to design and edit sites in a text editor rather than risking problems with a visual HTML editor altering code. Even if you like to use a visual editor to develop sites it is sometimes convenient to use a text editor when you just need to check something quickly.

Visual HTML editors have advanced considerably over the past decade and most web designers now use some type of visual editor to speed site development. Many options are available when choosing a visual HTML editor.

Popular visual HTML editors include Microsoft Visual Web Developer, CoffeeCup HTML Editor, and Adobe Dreamweaver. These applications are all commercially available in varying packages with varying costs. Microsoft Web Developer and CoffeeCup HTML Editor both do offer a limited-feature free version. KompoZer is an interesting (and free) project currently under development. KompoZer is a continuation of the abandoned Nvu project.

Each visual HTML editor has its’ own set of features, advantages and complications. Which editor is best (or if any of them are best) will be determined by your preferences, budget, and the type of development you are doing.

Graphic design software is most frequently used for photo and image editing. However, decent graphic design software is also essential for making banners, logos, and site graphics. Graphic design software can be quite costly depending on which program you purchase.

Popular graphics programs include Adobe Photoshop, Corel Paint Shop Pro, and Gimp. Adobe Photoshop is the industry standard but carries a price tag that might well be more than your monthly rent payment. Corel Paint Shop Pro (formerly Jasc Paint Shop Pro) is a great program with a much more affordable price. Gimp is a powerful, open source program that is available for free. Gimp will likely take care of everything you need to do unless you are a real graphic designer (in which case you probably already have Photoshop).

An office suite of software is essential for routine business tasks, like proposals, invoicing, presentations, and basic bookkeeping with spreadsheets. Regardless of how high-tech the web design business may be there are still occasions when you will need to type a letter, prepare a presentation or use a spreadsheet. Customers are also likely to send you documents periodically.

Some popular office suites include Microsoft Office, OpenOffice.org, and Corel WordPerfect. Microsoft Office is, of course, the industry standard. Office and WordPerfect both carry outrageously high price tags though. OpenOffice.org is the up and coming office suite of choice for many people. OpenOffice.org does everything you would expect an office suite to do – but without the price. OpenOffice.org is freely available and will import and export Microsoft Office documents.

The Importance of Standards Compliance
Standards compliance is something of a buzz word these days but is something that every web designer should be striving to achieve and maintain. Developing websites that comply with current, International standards is best practice and should always be the goal. Sites that are standards compliant should work satisfactorily in every modern web browser – whether desktop, laptop, or handheld.

Many web designers have a bad attitude about web standards. They seem to think that standards are implemented to hold them back or to make their job difficult. Nothing could be further from the truth! Web standards allow web designers to design one site that works in all browsers rather than designing multiple copies of each site to accommodate several different browsers. As the Internet continues to grow and more mobile devices are used to access the Internet it becomes even more important to design to industry standards. It is simply impossible to predict what devices will be used to access a website. Standards-compliant sites are the only way to guarantee that everyone can access a site.

The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) is an international consortium that develops internationally-accepted, open-source standards for the Internet. W3C’s stated mission is “to lead the World Wide Web to its full potential by developing protocols and guidelines that ensure long-term growth for the Web.” These may seem like loft goals, yet they are absolutely essential. Anyone who has been developing websites for any length of time remembers all too well the nightmare of browsers without standards compliance. (For that matter, anyone that attempts to develop sites that work the same in Microsoft’s Internet Explorer as in every other browser still knows why standards are important!)

Expanding Your Web Design Business With Freelancers
Sooner or later you will be faced with a project that is beyond the scope of your abilities and skills. This leaves you with the option of turning down the project (and the revenue) or finding a freelancer to complete the portion of the project you cannot handle. Subcontracting out parts of a project to freelancers has become increasingly common as websites have become more complicated.

Working with a freelancer (or several) allows you to expand your business and offer more services to your customers. However, this also complicates your business because you are now relying on other people to complete critical projects. Remember to build extra time into each project if you plan to subcontract out part of the work. This will provide you with a time buffer if you run into problems with the work.

It is also a good idea to have a customer sign off on the project scope before you contract with a freelancer. Only after you are clear on what the customer needs should you ask a freelancer to bid on the project.

Deciding to hire a freelancer is one thing. Finding the right freelancer is something else altogether! How do you go about finding a freelancer for your web design project?

Fortunately, there are companies that specialize in connecting freelancers with people who need help with a project. Elance, Guru, and RentACoder all help to match up freelancers with available projects. The competitive nature of the bidding at these sites usually means the employer is able to have the work done at a good price. (Some people criticize these sites because the prices may tend to be too low because of the competition.)

Another option for finding freelancers is through a local university of technical college. Any school with an IT program is likely to have plenty of skilled students who could use some extra work. It may be best to work through the administration and ask for recommendations to be sure that your prospective freelancer has adequate skills and training.

Finally, you can always advertise on Craiglist, Monster, Dice or in your local help wanted directory for a freelance programmer or designer. You should probably have a basic freelance agreement ready if you plan to contract with someone directly. A standard freelance agreement will usually include a non-disclosure clause, payment terms, and will also specify whether the freelancer is an employee or an independent contractor. Presumably you will be looking for an independent contractor if the work is only periodic and per diem. An Internet search should turn up plenty of standard agreement templates you can adapt to your own needs. (You can, of course, have your attorney handle this for you – for a fee.)

It is also a good idea to review the IRS definition of an independent contractor versus an employee. Classifying a freelancer as an independent contractor is perfectly legal, but the IRS prefers that everyone is treated as an employee and thus subject to income tax withholding. Make sure you understand the distinction before you hire a freelancer. This is not an issue, of course, when using freelance sites.

Conclusion
Starting a web design business is an exciting venture. Best of all, web design businesses are well suited to starting as a shoestring business. While some things may be easier if you do have some cash to invest in the business, it is quite possible to start your web design business with no investment provided you already have a computer and Internet access.

Starting any business requires a lot of hard work. Web design is no exception. However, if you enjoy computers and the Internet, web design can also be a fun business. This business also allows you to earn residual income from every hosting customer as hosting and domain name registrations continue to bring in revenue long after the original sale.

There are plenty of decisions to make as you consider launching your web design business. The good news is that in many cases you can start simple or cheap and upgrade software or services as you earn some money. Expensive software licensing fees can be avoided because all of the software you need for your web design business is freely available as open source software; expensive business fees can be avoided by operating as a sole proprietor rather than incorporating. You can always change to more expensive options at a later date if it seems more beneficial to your business.

The future for the web design industry looks strong. The Internet continues to grow at a rapid pace and new technologies like mobile Internet are only beginning to see mainstream adoption. Many businesses still have not caught on to the usefulness and importance of a web presence. These businesses will require web design services in the foreseeable future if they hope to remain competitive in a global economy. The rapidly changing nature of the Internet also guarantees that businesses that already have a web presence will need their sites updated and overhauled. This trend also assures web design companies of residual work for many years to come.

This book was designed to provide you with a solid overview of the web design industry. We have discussed the highlights of starting a web design business without becoming too burdened with small details. We have also looked at ways to start a web design business on a shoestring budget. This business model does not require thousands of dollars in capital to be successful. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and get started with your shoestring web design business!

Confidence in US newspapers and television news continues to be abysmal, according to a recent Gallup poll. On average, only 25 percent of US adults reported having a “great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence in newspapers, while only 22 percent reported having a similar degree of confidence in television news. The results were part of the annual Confidence in Institutions survey conducted in July 2010 by Gallup.

American confidence in these mainstream news sources has declined considerably since 1990. Newspapers enjoyed a confidence level of 39 percent in 1990. Television news could boast an enviable 46 percent confidence level as of 1993. Ironically, confidence in television news has fallen faster and further than confidence in newspapers. I take some measure of comfort in this statistic since I work as a newspaper journalist rather than as a broadcast journalist!

The good news – for those who are willing to adapt

The survey does include a surprising bright spot. I expected confidence to be highest among the 65+ age demographic. However, the 65+ demographic is a distant second place for confidence in the news – and only marginally greater than that among other adults. The demographic with the greatest degree of confidence in the news media is 18- to 29-year-old adults! This surprised me as I expected the young adult demographic to be the most cynical of mainstream news sources. According to this survey, 49 percent of adults in the 18- to 29-year-old demographic identify themselves as having a “great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence in newspapers! The news for television news is not nearly so positive though, with only 24 percent of the same young-adult demographic expressing confidence in television news.

This information identifies an opportunity that newspaper publishers cannot afford to miss. Young adults, in dramatically greater numbers than any other adult demographic, trust their newspaper. Twice the number of these young adults trust the newspaper as trust the television news. This represents an opportunity for newspaper publishers to capture a young audience who may well continue to be readers for the next 50 years! However, I suspect this confidence could be easily lost if newspapers are not careful to deliver unbiased, accurate news. Following the tabloid path that much of cable news has followed could quickly erode the confidence of young adults.

The 18- to 29-year-old demographic is also a technologically savvy group. Rupert Murdoch has been quoted for referring to Apple’s new iPad as being a “game-changer” for the news media industry. Murdoch may be exactly right with is assessment. Both Murdoch and Apple have track records of knowing where consumers will want to spend their money. The iPad stands to revolutionize the tablet market and, in turn, open new opportunities for news organizations that currently struggle to remain profitable in an Internet economy.

The biggest challenge for the news industry to cash in on this tech-savvy demographic may be that 18- to 29-year-olds trust newspapers they also read national newspapers the least. The question will be whether national newspapers can win the readership of this demographic or, alternatively, if local newspapers are able to adapt to the digital age and successfully and profitably deliver their digital information product to a demographic that trusts the newspaper considerably more than the television competition.

This is an exciting project that I am following with great interest. Unfortunately, I only learned about Jack’s long walk home as he passed through the Billings, MT area this week and was interviewed in the local paper. I am now following the story via Jack’s blog, Facebook fan page, and Twitter. You just gotta love social media, folks!

To tell the truth, walking across the country has been on my “must do” list for several years. I considered bicycling cross-country but eventually rejected the plan in favor of walking. The desire to walk cross-country originated out of all my road trips back and forth from New York to Washington/northwest Montana. After driving just about every conceivable route back and forth I decided that I should see the country at a different pace. Thus was born the idea of walking across the country. I have several long-distance hiking trails on my list as well.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand… Jack is an entertaining writer and I heartily recommend reading his blog. I started on day one and proceeded through until I was caught up. I didn’t want to miss anything! Jack blogs about his trip on almost a daily basis. This makes it very entertaining to follow the journey. I am anxiously waiting for Jack to upload his blog about traveling through the Crow Reservation (where I lived and worked last year) and the Billings/Laurel area.

One additional reason that I am interested in this project is because my daughter was a patient at Seattle Children’s Hospital several years ago. That also has served to increase my connection. Terri and I plan to make a donation sometime between now and September 10. I have also promoted Jack’s long walk home on Facebook.

Anyone interested in learning more about Jack’s long walk home, and the Seattle Children’s Hospital fundraiser, can follow these links.

• My Long Walk Home blog
• My Long Walk Home Facebook fan page
• My Long Walk Home on Twitter

The Death of Blogs

There has been quite a bit of buzz around the Internet lately about the death of blogs. This discussion is fueled in part by the recent departure of some high profile bloggers from the blogosphere. The irony of this discussion, of course, is that much of it is occurring on blogs.

Fallen! Fallen! Oh, how the mighty BLOG has fallen!

The arguments that blogs are dead usually center around several key points.

1. The growth of high-traffic, high-profile, multi-author blogs destroys any hope for the average individual blogger to be discovered and gain any meaningful audience.
2. Newer forms of social media, like Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Flickr make the need for personal blogs obsolete.
3. The never-ending comment spam, coupled with comments from obnoxious readers, simply require too much energy and time.

These observations are completely accurate based on my experience with blogs and the Internet.

The Trouble with Blogs

Comment spam and obnoxious people hiding behind the pseudo-anonymity of the Internet serve to deter many people from starting or continuing their blog. Even when the comments are not spam it is hopelessly frustrating to see an endless stream of comments that prove the person leaving the comment did not bother to actually read the article before firing off a comment.

The advent and rapidly growing popularity of multi-author blogs and high-traffic blog networks make it very difficult for the new blogger to gain any significant audience or to achieve reasonable search engine placement. Further, multi-author blogs are able to deliver quantity of content due to multiple authors and quality of content by having multiple authors with different specialties. The average solo blogger simply cannot compete against mega-blogs and sites like Wikipedia for search rankings and traffic.

Are Blogs Really Dead

The question must be asked though – are blogs really dead? Is there really no future on the Internet for blogs?

Nothing lasts forever – especially on the Internet! However, blogs have redefined how people communicate, obtain and interact with news, and even elect presidents (in the US). Blogs have become an integral part of the Internet landscape and it is certainly hard to imagine them going away any time soon. Blogs (to use the term loosely) have further become an entrenched part of the Internet as blog platforms like WordPress have increasingly seen double duty as both blog platform and CMS. WordPress is my blog platform of choice and my CMS of choice because of the power and flexibility of the program. So where does the blog end and the CMS site begin?

I suspect that part of the problem is that blogs were over-hyped as the ultimate solution to online publishing. This situation is reminiscent of the dot.com boom of a decade ago. The technology was (and is) destined to become a major player in the emerging Internet economy – but the hype needed to be tempered by reality.

Blogs Still Have a Pulse

Despite the challenges associated with blogging I believe the humble blog is not really dead. I suspect we will witness a continued evolution of blogs for some time as blogs continue to be integrated into the Web fabric. For instance, many CMS-powered websites now also have an integrated blog. Many social media sites also offer integrated blogs for their users. Blogs as we know them may eventually decrease in popularity as newer forms of the blog emerge but the blog is not likely to be buried any time soon.

Comment spam is a significant problem for bloggers. Anti-spam measures can help (Akismet, etc.) but are always an imperfect solution as spammers continue to develop new methods to beat the filters. Comments can also be disabled or restricted to registered users. Some social media fans will chafe at this suggestion but, for many sites, this is the best solution to the spam and unwanted comment problem.

Multi-author blogs do present a formidable challenge to new bloggers. Competing for search engine placement against established mega-blogs is a tough challenge. However, this does not mean that it is not possible to compete with established blogs and websites. The blog does level the playing field and provides a voice to anyone willing to invest the required work to make it happen. Blogging in the context of an established network (HubPages, Squidoo, and Associated Content are a few examples) provides a free and easy way to blog while taking advantage of the traffic of an established network. This can greatly increase a new blogger’s traffic and exposure. New bloggers can also compete by focusing on a niche, by writing in a unique voice, or by providing a perspective or information other similar blogs do not provide. Competing with a mega-blog is somewhat like a mom and pop store competing with WalMart. Many small operations will not succeed because they fail to differentiate themselves sufficiently to build a loyal customer base. Independent blogs, like independent stores, can always deliver unique value to their customers.

What’s Next After Blogs

What is next in the world of social media? What will replace the venerable personal blog? The transition appears to already be underway. Social media sites like Facebook, Flickr, Twitter, Delicious, and a host of others, offer a synthesis of photos, videos, blogs, status updates – in other words, lifestreaming. Blogs are optimized around text rather than multimedia and, while it is now possible to integrate a variety of multimedia into a personal blog, many people find the technical challenges too great. Social media sites facilitate the integration of multimedia into a personal web portal – usually at no cost to the user.

The most recent trend that I have seen in social media is toward convergent media. There are several social sites now providing convergent media services. I have recommended YUDU several times recently as a great example of a convergent media site. The idea of convergent media is that multiple types of media are all hosted in one online space, including text, pictures, audio files, video files, and web bookmarks. This appears to be the direction that personal blogging is headed. Lifestreaming is an obvious trend but is based on collecting various posts, videos, photos, etc., from a variety of sites to display them all in one place. Convergent media sites like YUDU, on the other hand, allow users to collect all of this together in one place to begin with rather than posting in different places and then needing to stream the various media together afterward.

Long Live the Blog

Blogs provide a unique communication and publishing medium that has revolutionized the way the world communicates, shares with friends and family, conducts business, obtains news and information, and even elects presidents. Blogs have become thoroughly integrated into the fabric of the Internet and, as the technology continues to evolve, promise to become even more integrated into the Web. The blog may look different as it evolves and newer forms of social media and convergent media emerge, but it is unlikely that the blog will disappear altogether in the near future.

Are blogs dead? Absolutely not! Are blogs changing as the technology matures and evolves? Absolutely! Blogs may look very different (and may even cease to be called blogs) as the technology matures and evolves and is integrated with newer media forms but, ultimately, blogs are here to stay. The growing popularity of sites like YUDU, Twitter, and Facebook prove that convergent and social media have earned their place on the Internet.

Link - WIRED

Experiencing Grief

Everyone has had a friend or loved one go through a time of grief. Sooner or later tragedy, pain and loss strike each person and as a result of this we all have witnessed a friend or loved one grieving some loss.

How we interact with others in grief can determine whether we bless or damage that person. The worst insults a grieving person receives are often from a well-meaning friend or loved one. Some of you know what I mean all too well.

Unfortunately, most of us feel poorly equipped to help someone who is grieving a loss. This article will provide some simple guidelines to help readers better understand the grief process and how to be a positive support and encouragement to your friend or loved one during grief. We will explore the nature and causes of grief, grief response and stages, supporting those in grief, and some helpful hints for being a positive support to those in grief.

What is Grief

Grief is the natural human response to loss.

The US National Mental Health Information Center defines grief this way:

“Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you.” [Link]

Causes of Grief

There are many specific events or circumstances that a person may grieve. However, they all have at their core a sense of loss. This loss may be real or imagined, tangible or intangible, but the grief reaction is the same. Death is perhaps the greatest and most significant cause of grief because the loss is felt to be so permanent and unalterable. However, a divorce, major illness or injury, loss of a job or business, separation from friends or loved ones, or similar situations that result in a feeling of loss may all trigger a grief response.

There are actually many situations and circumstances that could feel like a significant loss to a person. The reality is that what impacts me significantly may not impact you in the same way. This is true with many things because people have different priorities and values. You may find your loved one grieving a loss that does not seem that significant to you – but the loss may in fact be very real to them.

Stages of Grief / Grief Response

All human beings experience a grief response when faced with loss. Grief often feels like a mixture of numbness and sadness, particularly in the early stages of the grief process. Many people have attempted to develop a model of the grief process to help individuals in grief as well as those who seek to support them. Two grief models are considered in this article.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is credited with developing a helpful model outlining five stages of grief. Kubler-Ross published these five stages in her book, Death and Dying (1969). Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief are perhaps the most common and popular model of the grief process.

Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief, represented by the acronym DABDA, as:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Every person experiences the same five stages of grief outlined in Kubler-Ross’s model. While all five stages must be experienced as part of the healing process people may progress through these stages in different orders and at different rates. While denial is typically the first stage of the grief process, anger may or may not be the second stage that a person experiences. Similarly, just because denial is the first stage and a person has progressed into another stage does not mean that they will not revisit the denial stage.

The US National Mental Health Information Center outlines a four-step grieving process. They identify the four steps as:

1. Accept the loss
2. Work through and feel the physical and emotional pain of grief
3. Adjust to living in a world without the person or item lost
4. Move on with life

Each of these models provide a helpful framework to understand the grief process. However, it is important not to get hung up in predicting where a person should or should not be based on a particular model. These are models only and even trained counselors sometimes disagree about which model best represents the grief process or where an individual may be in the process.

The grief process will vary and look different for each individual. For instance, men and women may grieve the same loss differently. A person’s own personality and history with loss and grief will also impact their response to a loss. A person’s family background will often have a significant impact on how they grieve when faced with loss. I had one professor in college who used to say, “Styles are learned in families of origin.” There is a lot of truth to that statement. When everything falls apart we tend to default back to the responses we learned from our families – whether these responses worked or not.

Supporting Those who Grieve

Most people want to be helpful to a friend or family member who is suffering emotional pain and grieving. Unfortunately, many people do not know how to help or what to say (or not say) and, consequently, too many people say some very unhelpful or hurtful things. Worse yet, there is a prevailing opinion in our culture that a person in grief should be over their grief in a short time. Neither of these situations is helpful to the person in grief.

There are some things that should never be said to a person who is grieving a loss. Never. These statements (and a host of others statements like them) are simply never helpful. These type of statements are hurtful and damaging to the person you are supposed to be helping.

Never tell someone in grief:

• I know how you feel (you don’t know how they feel – everyone’s situation in unique)
• Everything will be okay (you don’t know that everything will be okay – you cannot see the future)
• It’s not a big deal (actually, it is a big deal to them if they are grieving this loss – it’s just not a big deal to you)
• All things work together for good (don’t even go there – unless you want to finish derailing their faith)
• You’ll be over this before you know it, and then you can find another… (another very unhelpful thing to say to someone in grief)

These type of statements are so damaging to a person in grief that it would be hard to overstate the impact. We do not know exactly how the person feels even if we have been through a similar loss. We do not know that everything will be okay for we do not know the future. The fact that this particular loss does not seem significant to us does not mean that the loss is not significant to someone else. We are well aware that God can bring roses out of ashes, but this cliche is not helpful to someone who has just suffered a significant loss. We realize that the person will probably move beyond their grief and find meaning in life again, but this process takes time and cannot be arrived at until the loss is first grieved.

Perhaps the classic Biblical example of friends running their mouths when they should have simply sat with a person in grief is found in the story of Job. Job lost nearly everything, including his health, wealth, and family, and sat grieving and mourning. Job’s friends came to visit and then proceeded to assault Job with cliches and opinions. The only problem is that, while their counsel may have sounded wise on the surface, they completely missed the point of what Job was experiencing. YHWH God eventually showed up and set the friends straight, reproving them because they had not spoken of him correctly. It is very easy to misrepresent God to someone during their time of grief and loss.

Somehow we have arrived at a cultural assumption that we need to say something to someone who is in grief. We seem to think that we need to say something to make the person feel better. Nothing could be further from the truth. Quite often the best thing that we can do for a loved one in grief is to simply sit with them for a while and let them know that we love them. They usually do not need to hear our brilliant wisdom and philosophy. What they need is for us to love them and be willing to feel their pain with them.

Grieving a loss is a process – and sometimes the process is very long indeed. Remember to give your friend or loved one time and space to grieve their loss. Be very careful about assuming that someone should “be over it” by now. Pressuring others to rush the grief process only serves to prevent much-needed healing. Depending on the person and the loss it may require months or even years for them to work through their grief and truly arrive at a place of healing.

Helpful Hints (Dos and Don’ts)

While each person and situation is unique and individual there are some general guidelines that are helpful in nearly every situation. There are also some things that are almost never helpful in any situation.

Helpful ideas to support a loved one in grief:

• Be willing to sit with the person without offering opinions or advice
• Tell the person “I am sorry” and “I love you” – and leave it at that
• Make offers of help specific rather than generic – people in grief often cannot process all that needs to be done
• Make visits short so as not to tire the person – people in grief need time alone to grieve
• Continue to make phone calls and send cards long after the initial event – people often feel forgotten in the months and years following a loss
• Mark your calendar with major anniversaries and holidays that will be difficult for the person – then send cards or call on those days
• Provide the person with the time and space that they need to grieve their loss

Things to avoid when supporting a loved one in grief:

• Avoid cliches and advice – they don’t need to hear it right now
• Don’t overstay your visit – they need time alone just like they need to see friends and family
• Never minimize their loss of their grief – the loss and grief process are very real to them
• Don’t rush the grief process – healing takes time

Conclusion

Ultimately, supporting a friend or loved one during their time of grief means being a true friend to the person. This requires putting aside our own comfort and agenda in favor of simply being there and sharing their pain. Supporting people in grief means loving them where they are at rather than where we wish they were and where we would be more comfortable if they were.

Your friend or loved one needs you during their time of grief. Don’t stay away because they are grieving. Just remember to give them space and time, and remember that they do not expect you to have all of the answers either. During times of loss and grief it is enough for them to know that you are there and that you care.

Fall is in the air at Shekinah Farm, Cambridge NY

Fall is in the air where I live. The days are still warm but the nights are cooling and leaves are beginning to change and drop from the trees. The winds of change are beginning to blow. I debated for many years as to my favorite season. Living in the northeast we experience four fully distinct seasons – each with enjoyable and not-so-enjoyable parts. I used to vacillate between autumn and spring as my two favorite seasons but I have finally decided that I like autumn best of all. Spring brings the promise of green and new life – but it also brings the promise of bugs and allergies… Ugh!

My waking thoughts this morning centered around a parallel between changing seasons in nature and in life. I’m not sure whether the Spirit was moving or if I ate too much of my homemade salsa sauce last night. (OK, we won’t go there. Some things are better left alone!) In any event, I awoke to thoughts of seasons and rhythms in life.

We westerners have a habit of largely ignoring things like seasons and rhythms. We are so accustomed to an industrialized, mechanized, always-on lifestyle that we don’t even notice when the winds of change are blowing around us.

I think we may also have a habit of ignoring the seasons of life. God gave Israel carefully crafted holidays, feasts, festivals, memorials and sabbaths to mark seasons. Not only did these rhythms of life mark seasons but they also served to remind God’s people not to forget their God in the busyness of life.

• How many of us have never gone Sunday to Sunday without a serious spiritual experience?
• How many of us have never gone days, or even weeks, without any serious prayer time with God?
• How many of us have never forgotten the Almighty in the busyness of our lives?

Seasons and rhythms are a God-given part of life. Let’s be careful to allow these things to mark our passage and point us back to our Creator God.

What are some practical ways we can use seasons and rhythms to remind us of God?