Sunday morning, following a rather difficult and emotional night, I posted an unusual Facebook status update. Despite taking several prescription muscle relaxants that are supposed to make me drowsy before climbing into bed, I was still unable to sleep. (The muscle relaxants are because I am recovering from recent back surgery.) As I lie in bed Saturday night, unable to sleep, my mind began to wander. I eventually ended up reflecting on several crises I am currently faced with, including my wife’s ongoing battle with metastatic cancer. Terri has fought this disease for more than two years – from initial diagnosis of metastatic fallopian tube cancer, the subsequent metastasis to her brain last fall, and then, most recently, with metastasis to her liver. We are currenlty awaiting the results of CT and MRI scans that will be scheduled over the next few weeks to see how much progress was made with the last series of treatments.
Our blessed hope in times of grief
Today, September 21, 2007, should be a day of celebration in my family. Today is my brother’s 30th birthday, but Jonathan David Witham died in my mother’s womb before he was born. Today should be a day of celebration rather than a day of grieving.
Today we mourn, grieve, and wonder what could have been – what should have been. Today we marvel at the passage of time, as sand through a child’s fingers while playing at the beach. “Hard to imagine he would be older now than we were when we buried him,” my father observed this week.
Supporting loved ones in times of grief
Everyone has had a friend or loved one go through a time of grief. Sooner or later tragedy, pain and loss strike each person and as a result of this we all have witnessed a friend or loved one grieving some loss.
How we interact with others in grief can determine whether we bless or damage that person. The worst insults a grieving person receives are often from a well-meaning friend or loved one. Some of you know what I mean all too well.
Unfortunately, most of us feel poorly equipped to help someone who is grieving a loss. This article will provide some simple guidelines to help readers better understand the grief process and how to be a positive support and encouragement to your friend or loved one during grief. We will explore the nature and causes of grief, grief response and stages, supporting those in grief, and some helpful hints for being a positive support to those in grief.
